October by Johanna
They spoke to me.
And I?
I thought,
How strange their voices,
echoing amongst the trunks of trees,
golden,
reverberating…
sad.
I walked where I imagined them to be.
I walked
while watching my shadow
on the ground—
how it choked and stuttered
and coughed…
and went.
I reached a place.
I found them there,
hiding between leaves
of red and gold.
I held their deadness
in my hand
and listened…
to what they said.
Open your eyes and look at us.
Open your eyes…
and see.
How strange those words!
They issued so purely
with neither lips…
nor utterance.
They cut across me in the dark.
They took me by the waist.
They held me…
in their absence.
And in their eyes I saw...
the dream
the desire
born
from something
somewhere
welling up
through the body
through the blood.
They spoke to me.
And I?
I said,
Look at my face,
my eyes!
Look…
How beautiful the vision
inside my mind!
aw, nevine, how beautiful and profound poem!
ReplyDeletei can almost feel the passion pouring out of those divine words!
this has to be one of your best.
that poem just brings out the emotion in me.
yet i felt every single word as i read it and ENVISIONED the way it would be.
a heartfelt thank you for this gem!
big hugs and love to you my sweet friend!
betty xx
Yes, indeed, beautifully done, Nevine. Thank you.
ReplyDelete...and i loved how you finished your poem...
ReplyDelete'how beautiful the vision in my mind!'
Yes, this is beautifully done, Nevine. Lovely imagery. I could see autumn forests, and dying trees and deep dark glades where no one ever goes.
ReplyDeleteThis part where you say
how it choked and stuttered
and coughed...
and went.
gave such powerful images and sensations. Maybe you could cut "and went" because it's not as strong a word as the ones preceeding it. Or you could find another word, like "ran", or "tripped", or "stumbled" or something, I don't know.
Excellent work, as always.
Jai
This one left my mind spinning, gently, with the sensation of being rocked into a dream.
ReplyDeletePerfection, Nevine.. every bit of it. It moved me deeply xo
ReplyDeleteÉtrange et mystérieux poème, tout comme l'image qui l'accompagne et qui me fait penser au film d'Hitchcock!
ReplyDeleteCette très belle association des deux donne à penser que ce sont les oiseaux (des corbeaux en l'occurrence), qui te parlent et que tu comprends leur langage.
Et l'utilisation de mots comme: l'automne, la tristesse, l'obscurité, la mort, nous laisse un espèce de malaise indéfinissable!
Ce qui est sûr, c'est que tu as encore réussi à emmener ton lecteur là où tu voulais l'emmener!Bravo mon amie;o)
***
BIZZZOUZZZ et merveilleuse fin de semaine****
ps: Je ne sais pas si je te l'ai déjà dit, mais ma fille cadette s'appelle Johanna. He he he;o)
Nevine! NEVEEEN! Ha! I UNDERSTAND this, and in that realization, know more the meaning of love, of creation.
ReplyDeleteAnd pondering these things does not confuse me, but sometimes illuminates, enlightens. And it is just, well...FUN!
And what these strange voices from deadness brought to your mind--is either a beautiful understanding, or a beautiful questioning.
Thus stems serenity.......Enlightenment.
PEACE!
Steve
beautiful vision :)
ReplyDelete"And these visions... of Johanna... kept me up past the dawn..."
ReplyDelete(the first thing that came to mind...)
your words once again leap from the page and dance into my mind...perfection
ReplyDeleteBetty - Thank you so much for your always sweet words. This was a very personal write for me, so I'm happy to know you enjoyed and appreciated it. I do appreciate that! And thank you so much for sharing with me your favorite part. I always love to know... :-) Big hugs and love right back to you!
ReplyDeleteWilliam - And thank you, too. I appreciate the visit.
Jai - Thank you for your thoughts... and also for the constructive feedback. I do see what you mean about the word "went" not being as powerful as the previous words... but it was how I felt it... as a sort of peaceful acceptance and resignation of the shadow... and so the shadow "went" after fumbling and stumbling. Sometimes, poetry can be a very subjective thing, and it feels to one much different than it feels to another. But thanks, again. I always love to hear the thoughts of a fellow writer.
ReplyDeleteMartin - Well, thank you. It sounds like it was a peaceful read, then. :-)
Glynis - So nice to see you here, and I do appreciate the lovely thoughts. :-)
ReplyDeleteCremilde - Tu penses à "The Birds." Oui, j'adore ce film! Et j'adore Hitchcock. Donc, merci!!! Et oui, tu m'as dit que ta fille s'appelle Johanna. He he he... Tu me comprends, mon amie, comme toujours. Gros bisous et bonne semaine! ;-)
Steve - Pondering these things seems to be just your "place." I am not surprised, then, that you do understand. And I do enjoy that place, too. Although I start off confused, I always end up with some illumination, enlightenment. And I feel the time spent being confused was not wasted, after all. And the strange voices? Well, I suppose they are both an understanding and a questioning. I try to remind myself, always, that I can't possibly understand it all, right? ;-) Serenity... yes. I am seeking it... ever seeking, Steve. :-)
ReplyDeleteCamille - Thank you.
Owen - I wonder why my poetry always reminds you of songs...
ReplyDeleteDavid - :-)
Je suis venue lire tes belles pensées et tes rêves merveilleux dans TNL!
ReplyDeleteTu as l'art de raconter tellement en si peu de mots et de rendre vivant chaque petit morceau de texte!
Patience, mon amie! Tout vient à point à qui sait attendre;o)
Gros BISOUS! SMACK SMACK SMACK!
Je viens profiter de la belle musique et te souhaiter un excellent weekend plein d'amour, d'inspiration et d'harmonie;o)
ReplyDelete***
SMACK SMACK SMACK****
like joseph campbell said so profoundly:
ReplyDeletefollow your bliss
Mildred - Ouf! T'as raison. Mais, la semaine était trop longue, et j'avais besoin de patience. Donc, j'ai écrit ces petits mots quand j'étais en classe, pour que je n'oublie pas! Oui, c'est la patience qui me sauve... :-) Merci pour tes petites visites, ma belle. Je t'embrasse très fort!!!
ReplyDeleteCremilde - Smack smack smack et merci!!! :-) Je te souhaite une bonne semaine!
LW - Amen, LW! :-)
Hello
ReplyDeleteVery nice Blog, thanks
He he he! Excellent! J'aime beaucoup les filles qui ont un côté garçon manqué! Avec elles, on ne parle pas chiffon, et du coup elles sont tellement plus intéressantes!
ReplyDeleteCourage pour tes études, ma belle!
***
SMACK SMACK SMACK***
oh, nevine! another magnificently done word treat here - one that, like all your others, speaks to each of us in so many different ways and yet, in the same way - with such beauty and truth! beautifully done, dear lady!
ReplyDeleteYup! I'm double dipping:
ReplyDeleteNevine, there is a beautiful vision inside my mind as I re-read--'see'--the beautiful vision inside your own....
Gratefully.
Steve
Nevine,
ReplyDeleteWhat a spelendid writing!
Seeker and travellers we are....by the time we are conscious of what we carry within us - we've surely walked a long way.
By the time we hear them..... we realise we have eaten too much from this world....
Yet,the sweetness of their refrains always brings us to our ' streams of untouched purity '.
What a beautiful person you are Nevine, your words reveal so much.....
love
col
Cremilde - It's that tomboy in me that giggles inside at men, sometimes! He he he... they're such a crazy bunch. But what would life be without them, no? ;-)
ReplyDeleteJenean - I'm so glad you felt this, Jenean. It was a deep piece for me... Thank you so much for your constant appreciation. I hope you're enjoying your time on the road!
Steve - Hey, you can double dip whenever you want! I am the grateful one. Thank you, Steve.
ReplyDeleteCOL - Yes, we are all travelers. And what would we be without our travels? I have a feeling we've met and traveled together in some other life... before. We are ancient souls, COL. And I see the beauty in your spirit, too. It shines, without blinding. Thank you for your always soothing and loving words, COL. They are much appreciated... as are you. Love back to you...