Wednesday, October 7, 2009

the elements of thrill

what makes your skeleton rattle

is it the anticipation of a victorious afterward
when you have learned a truth about him and
you will watch him lie about it
without his even stopping to breathe

is it the abuse of power when he
does come to you with lowered head
and admits he has made a mistake
and you say too bad too late

is it the quiver of your flesh when you
pass by the house of your lover
knowing he might be at a window
watching you secretly from behind

is it dressing in the dark and
escaping to meet clandestinely
or the triumphal abandon
of getting caught

is it the tremor in your gut when you are
behind closed doors within closed rooms
indulging in what you know is
forbidden but desirable

is it the sharing of the
promise of a secret
or the moment of
its shattering

is it the heinous desire to
burst out laughing at a funeral
or the twisted need to
be laughed at

the ardent glance of zealous worship
or the icy gaze of remote disinterest

the resolve of succumbing to rapture
or the defeat of succumbing to fatigue

the perfume of liquid sex
or the odor of rotting carnage

the arrival at your final destination
or the transformation you endured to get there

the blanketed punch of climax
or the marmalade zigzag of holding back


the moment is
agitated electricity

and the effect is a
transported ripple


  1. Liked this. I think they all make my skeleton rattle, even the ones that shouldn't. Again, makes for uncomfortable, but enlightening reading.

  2. Amazing. I feel as if it is three poems in one. The first portion seems stayed even as it is about unquiet.

    The second is delicious, a stringing together of abandon.

    The third: starting with thrill to the last line, is a fine rendering of that emotion.

    Nice. Like the faucet was turned on, and you were watching the water, then you walked away for a second and the water gushed out, then you came back and turned it off, but there was still a drip, drip, drip. I love your writing. it makes me think.

  3. It is the Thrill, the Secret Thrill.

  4. what is forbidden and unreachable? that's it for me!

  5. Mme. DeFarge - I'm personally "thrilled" by the fact that although you are made uncomfortable by much of what I write, you keep coming back for more. Most would shy from the sources of their discomfort, but you do not shy from this source, and this is greatly appreciated. I'm happy that you liked it.

    Suzanne - Your description of what I wrote is poetry unto itself. And I do love that my writing makes you think. It is always my hope to trigger questions in the minds of my readers. Thank you, as always!

  6. Secretia - Thank you for dropping in and dreaming, a while.

    Peach Tart - Your lovely comment is greatly appreciated.

    Stacey - You really didn't have to share that with us, now, did you? ;-)

  7. N-Hmmm things deeply hidden or blatantly open. Nothing in between. Loved how you wrote this; it teased and pulled. ~Rick

    I read, transported nipple.
    Apparently I've been transported.

  9. This is beautiful. Surprising, and amazing..

  10. oh my, my skeleton rattled a couple of times... perfectly lovely this!

  11. yes, my skeleton can lay claim to several rattles, too, like shadow above - beautiful piece!

  12. Your prose take me on a rise and fall of emotive turbulence. A roller coaster ride of cognition. There's intensity, secrets and a breach of self-control..."heinous desire to burst out laughing at a funeral". The last two stanzas depict a spill of elevated senses then a gradual ease into the tranquility of a transported ripple. Very transcendental.

  13. Rick - Sometimes the "in between" can be terribly boring, and the shock of black and white is just the right medicine. Thanks for joining me, Rick.

    Erin - "... transported nipple..." I wonder what Freud would have to say about that? But if you came in tired and left transported, then that's a good thing for both of us.

    Turquoise - Surprising is always delightful. I'm happy you enjoyed it.

    Shadow - We all need a little shake every once in a while, don't we?

  14. Gypsywoman - My skeleton rattled writing this piece, so I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one. It's fun to share an exciting ride... Thank you for joining me!

    She Poet - "... roller coaster ride of cognition..." That's how I felt going there. I was sort of hesitant about the bit with the funeral, but haven't we all experienced that thrilling moment of wanting to just bust out laughing in the most inconvenient of places? Thank you, She Poet. You are, as always, insightful.

  15. You're quite welcome, enjoyed it. And, yes, I shamefully admit there are those evil moments when I wanted to burst out laughing during a church sermon. Don't know why. Perhaps it's my devilish Id ;)

  16. From just a common layman, the flowing honesty of thought blends with a hint of disguise.

  17. You had me at 'what makes your skeleton rattle.' Love it.

    I am so blown away by you Nevine.

    After I read it all I realized that life experiences don't really make my skeleton rattle but words do.

    Love Renee xoxo

  18. the moment is
    agitated electricity

    Yes, you've captured it so well in your poem...

  19. What a wonderfully poem and beautiful words!

  20. As I read, under my feet I felt the razor's edge between creation and destruction. The hurricane force of experience.

  21. She Poet - Join the club of evildoers, every one of us!

    Glnroz - Common layman? There's no such thing, in my world! You're as special as the rest of humanity, and your opinion is very special to me. I appreciate your stopping by, and taking a moment to read... I really do!

    Renee - I love your honesty! I can't do without the specks of reality that are occasionally hurled at me and hit my rose-colored glasses. I tell you, I'm rattled by a lot of stuff, but not as much as I used to be. You're so right. But isn't it so much fun to dream and play?

    Vesper - Thanks so much for stopping in and commenting. I'm happy you enjoyed it.

    Jarmara - Welcome! I don't believe you've ever visited my blog before. I do hope you will return soon. And thank you for your sweet comment!

    Jason - Experience. Yes, that's where Renee came in, too. I hear you guys...

  22. In response to your question: it is the passion that speaks no language to anyone except to that who understands it; it is the Escher painting from which only one person can pull me out; it is the open/hidden secret that only that other person and I share, amongst millions.

    I loved this poem to bits. It brought back powerful memories, very powerful.

    Greetings from London.

  23. Deborah - Thank you, as always!

    Cuban - That was a very personal and touching response. It makes my day to know that my writing somehow took you by the hand and escorted you down memory lane. I hope that your memories were pleasant and warm, and that they put a smile on your face as you have just put a smile on mine. Have a marvelous day, Cuban! And please say hello to the old Foggy Town for me; I miss it so...

  24. Cuban, again! I forgot to mention I, also, am an Escher fan. There's something about the structure vs. chaos in his work that blends marvelously with how my mind perceives...

  25. Escher came to my mind several times whilst reading Borges recently, Nevine. In my humble opinion, Escher shows you the images you would not dream about had you a chance to live them.

    Greetings from London.

  26. Chili - Thanks millions! And thank you for joining.

    Cuban - Borges. Now you really have me thinking. A few years ago I read a Borges anthology named "Labyrinths" in English translation (although I'm fluent in French and Italian I struggle a bit with Spanish), and I felt like I had entered into a journey with my psyche. Borges is very deep reading, Cuban. Very profound. And I'm seeing the connection with Escher you're talking about, completely, although I hadn't considered it before. You have interesting perceptions of literature and art, and I appreciate very much your sharing them. Thanks for stopping in again!

  27. I like the way you write. This is a very inspiring piece.

    Best regards

  28. I will have to say, without a doubt, all of the above and those I can no longer recall ---

    A very thought provoking post!

  29. Tom - Sorry I missed your comment, and thank you for your kind words.

  30. Oh My Gosh Nevine! I will certainly admint
    to three of these secret little thrills, and
    just reading your erotically-hued verses
    has made each wash over me.

  31. Cynthia - I'm happy you came by and took a dip...

  32. all of the above, thank you very much! ;) powerful stuff here

  33. Wow, I love it...beautifully and masterfully written!


Your thoughts are deeply appreciated.