The Truth

If you haven’t read The Instructions please go back and read them first.

And then come back and read The Truth.

This is what happened.

I was walking down the hall.

I was walking and I heard the kids chant.

I heard their innocent voices rise.

I heard their beautiful voices cry.

I heard them sing, Don’t write outside the box.

And I heard her ugly voice.

Her voice that stopped them dead.

Her voice that killed like a scythe cutting through a field of sunflowers.

Her voice that perturbed like a siren in a quiet night.

That’s right.

Don’t write outside the box, she screeched.

If you write outside the box…

Bla bla bla…

And the one next door to her said the same.

And his voice stopped me inside my head.

His voice stopped me inside my step.

I was walking down the hall and my legs stopped moving.

And I turned around and walked a few steps back.

And I looked through the little glass window on his classroom door.

I looked and saw faces transfixed.

Faces aged fourteen and fifteen and sixteen.

So young and yet so tired.

Faces exhausted by repetition.

Faces transfixed by fear.

Faces lit by anguish.

You can’t fail, he said.

And they looked at him like he was walking on water.

And they nodded their heads.

And I thought to myself, What are they, idiots, that we have to talk to them like this?

And I walked to my classroom.

And I sat in my chair.

And I was angry.

And I was sad.

And I clutched myself and said to myself, What am I doing here?

Why do I stay?
I can walk away from this and do anything else.
Anything at all.

And the kids walked out of their classes.

And their voices interrupted my thoughts.

And I stood outside my door and watched them.

And they looked at each other anxiously.

And their eyes said, We can’t fail.

And they came into my class.

And we sat together and read “Harrison Bergeron.”

And the kids asked me, Miss, what does it mean?

And I said, You tell me.

And they told me.

And the music of their voices filled my heart.

But the irony of it strained my chest.

And my eyes wanted to cry.

But The Instructions say, Don’t cry in front of the students.

So I held back my tears. I stayed inside my box.

And when we had finished exchanging ideas, the kids said,

We’re real nervous about the big test tomorrow, Miss.

And I wanted to tell them that it was okay to fail. People fail, sometimes. It’s okay. It happens, I wanted to say.

But if I’d told them that and they’d failed I would have let them down.

The Instructions don't allow them to fail.

So I would have been lying.

So I stayed inside my box.

And instead, I told them, Real heroes fall.

And the kids asked me, Miss, what does it mean?
And I said, You tell me.

And they told me.

And the music of their voices filled my heart.

And one boy said, Miss, I still don’t get it.

And I said, You will get it in your own good time.

And they started to leave.

And as they walked out the door, we gave each other high fives.

And as they walked down the hall I heard them say, We still gotta pass that test tomorrow.

The Instructions

This is the big day, they said. This is it.

This is the day where you get to show what you know.

This is the day where you get to prove yourself.

You’ve been practicing so long.

And now it’s time to show your skills.

And you’ve got them. You’ve got the skills.

We’ve drilled you well and we know you have the skills.

Now it’s time to show what you know.

In a minute we’ll be passing out the papers.

But first, there are a few instructions we want to go over with you.

Don’t forget to write your name on the cover page.

If you don’t write your name, we won’t know whose paper it is.

Simple. Right?

Put your name on the cover page in capital letters. In pencil.

You must use pencil. Do you understand?

We feel that you are prepared.

You have been preparing all along.

We have been preparing you.

Though you might not realize it, you are prepared.

But the most important thing to remember is the box.

When you are filling in your answers, write inside the box.

Don’t write outside the box.

You must only write inside the box.

When we practiced, sometimes we allowed you to write outside the box.

But that’s because we were just practicing.

Now you know all the right answers.

Now you know exactly what you need to write.

Don’t make up your own stuff to write.

Just write what we told you to write.

If you make up your own stuff, you will need more space.

More space means going outside the box.

If you make up your own stuff, you will have the wrong answer.

Wrong answers mean failure.

And this is the real thing.

You can’t fail.

So you can’t write outside the box.

We can’t stress this enough.

You can’t write outside the box.

If you write outside the box the scanner won’t read what you wrote.

The scanner is programmed to read only what is inside the box.

So make sure you stay inside it.

If you go outside the box, you will fail.

We can’t stress this enough.

The scanner won’t read what you wrote.

Don’t go outside the box.

Do you understand?

This is the big day. This is it.

This is the day where you get to show what you know.

This is the day where you get to prove yourself.

You need to follow the instructions.

Write your name on the cover page in capital letters in pencil.

Don’t write outside the box.

If you write outside the box the scanner won’t read what you wrote.

If you write outside the box you will fail.

Do you understand?

You need to follow the instructions.

Name on cover page in caps and pencil.

Don’t write outside the box.

Write outside, and the scanner won’t read it.

Write outside, you fail.

Get it?

Understand?

Name on cover. Caps. Pencil.

Don’t write outside the box.

Write outside, scanner won’t read it.

Write outside, fail.

Don’t write outside the box.

Simple.

Don’t write outside the box.

Get it?

Rite of Spring

I will light the room with carmine candles

And I will sprinkle the floor with kali blossoms

And I will clothe myself in the coloring of love

And I will dip my fingers

         One by one

         In wildflower honey

And I will slip apart your lips

         With honeyed fingertips

And I will trace the shell curve of your ear

         With the canal curve of my tongue

And I will tread the tender path

Of your melting flesh

With my mouth

And I will play sweet music on your body and face

And I will brush and swish like breath on skin

And I will lick our sweat from the pool in your navel

And I will twine red roses into a garland

And I will wrap this around our precious embrace

And Cupid and Psyche will bless our sleep

And sadness will melt away like indigo in water

And tomorrow will glow cornflower like spring.

night and shadow

Fiberglass and resin sculpture
"He is the Night" by Gwen Creighton Lux

there is a place

where

night does not fall

but breaks

slowly

like day

but splinters

slowly

inside me

because i am river

faceless but flowing

because i am sky

invisible but living

because i am mote

in the eyes of

secret stars

because i am scream

in the throats of

frozen lies

because

and

because

and

because

i am

i am legend

in the hearts of

broken heroes

i am tale

in the mouths of

sacred stones

up the stairs

and

left down the corridor

there is a place

a room

where

i wait for you

white robes

on crimson flesh

i wait for you

jagged metal

in tender wound

i wait

i watch

through inverted windows

of angled eyes

i wait

i know

the night will not fall

nor will the damned 
meet the crucified

at the crossroads

of hell and purgatory

i wait

i know

you will not come

i have given breath

to your shadow

and in so doing

i have lost mine