Tuesday, March 23, 2010

transfiguration

"The Eclipse"
by Paul Albert Besnard

under a quiet night
inside a silent city
on a deserted street
amongst sauntering shadows
of trees with crooked trunks
and houses with locked doors
but open windows
to let in the stars
we sit and watch the sky
and right before our eyes
the moon becomes a woman
she bares a breast
over the edge of a rooftop
and below
the earth is indigo
a lake of shimmering ghosts
with a single leaf
floating over the surface
tenderly so tenderly
your hands pour love down my back
a love that trickles
like wine into a glass
your hands that are
the sacred guardians
of a blurred dream
are
for a moment
in focus
my lips begin to promise love
but softly
you blindfold my mouth
with your hands
and whisper to me shhh
and the moon
breathes deeply
sighs gently
smiles quietly
turns gracefully on her side
and bares her other breast

57 comments:

  1. oh man, oh man...stunningly graceful and enchanting... mmmmm...thank you.

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  2. The language you've used works really well; this one draws us in and carries us along.

    Well paced. Phonetic. Wonderfully subtle similes.

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  3. Nevine:

    The piece began with an elaborate description. And I was waiting for the action. It came and how: "blurred dream
    are
    for a moment
    in focus"

    It almost seemed that the moon felt shy but then she bared her other breast.

    Nevine, I say it over and over that now it's become a cliche BUT I cannot help but use cliches -- You weave magic in words.

    I should christen you as Nevine -- The magician of words.

    But still I feel I haven't expressed enough. Perhaps I think you deserve much more than this.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  4. You radiated sexiness with this poem.

    Secretia

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  5. The lyrical repetition of structure and melody as, for example, in the opening four prepositional phrases is really mesmerizing in this piece Nevine. Consider me hypnotized. Bravo!

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  6. Oh goody. Now I never get to see the full moon in the same way again.

    Sorry. That was facetious. It's just that the Dirty Old Man in me must, from time to time, be appeased or he drives me crazy. It's something akin to taking the dog for a walk. Anyway. That is a truly hypnotic piece. Full of strong visuals and tantalizing moments. Love it.

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  7. Wow. I mean really, wow. I am so glad I found your blog.

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  8. again, the picture you paint....how you do it, draw me into the world you create I will never know, so masterful, so graceful....pure brilliance

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  9. wonderfully beautiful and lyrical - magnificent, dear nevine! magnificent!

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  10. Wow Nevine!
    Your poem is a moment of pure bliss;-)

    And the moon, and the stars and the leaf floating on the surface of the lake tenderly...
    A sublime image que j'emporte avec moi;-)

    ***
    Merci mon amie.
    Gros bisous et bonne semaine*******

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  11. Beautiful. I was particularly taken with "..trees with crooked trunks and houses with locked doors but open windows to let in the stars.."

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  12. It's difficult to distinguish the moon from the woman in the poem, and that to me is the beauty of it. Nice and lush.

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  13. Nevine....your hands pour love down my back..

    WOW this did things to me that i should not say out loud... but only in whispers to you...

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  14. I love this poem so much, I made a haiku for your work:
    Your lyrical words,
    twinkle with midnight's passion,
    poetry that moves.

    This poem conjures up such powerful imagery - I love it.

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  15. Lovely imagery.

    I thought you could make two stanzas out of this. The second stanza could begin with the line: 'Your hands pour down my back', since this is the bit where I felt the feel of the poem changed from mellow description to more intense personal feelings.

    Great stuff.

    Jai

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  16. So now you are not just the Queen but the Moon herself!!!
    I love this simile...
    but what happenend next? LOL
    ;-)
    Great as always
    LOVE

    Dulce

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  17. Kay – Thank you! I’m glad you were enchanted by it.

    U.V. Ray – Welcome! And thank you for the “phonetic”. I try for that but wonder if sometimes I’m hearing things in my head when I read my own writing. Thank you for leaving a comment, and also for leaving your trail. I’ll be by…

    Susan – My dear, you so flatter me. And some clichés are just that wonderful to accept, so you can use clichés as often as you wish. I do like that christened name you’ve chosen for me, too. :-) See? You just made me smile. I’m so lucky to know someone like you…

    Secretia – Well, Queen of All Things Sexy… Thank you. I shall wear that as a crown!

    Gerry – If I have you hypnotized, then I’ve done something good. ;-) Thanks, Gerry!

    Lou – You don’t need to apologize. And I’m glad to know this was “appeasing” in its own small way. :-)

    Nes – Welcome! I’m always wowed by an italicized “Wow!” And I will be by to visit soon.

    Steven – Your words are what’s brilliant, dear friend. Truly, they are. Thank you so much for being you.

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  18. Jenean – Oh, thank you. You’re so very sweet, Jenean.

    Cremilde – I’m happy you enjoyed the blissful moment. Et merci, comme toujours, pour les étoiles, qui sont des étoiles de bonheur! Bisous, bisous! :-)

    Martin – Thank you, and thank you for sharing your favorite lines, too!

    Erin – “Lush” is such a beautiful word, and I’m so pleased my poem felt lush to you.

    Sir Thomas – So happy you enjoyed it that much, Sir!

    Sam – You are so precious to have done that. I’m so very flattered, Sam. I truly am. Thank you so much.

    Jai – I actually didn’t want to break the flow of the action; I kind of wanted it all to be like one big but slow swirl of events.

    Dulce – He he he… I am the Moon! What happened next, my dear, is for your imagination to dance with and delight in.

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  19. This was enchanting and romantic. Makes me long for the hammock up on the roof joined by a pretty girl. Shame my neighborhood isn't quiet and peaceful though.

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  20. May I just sit in quiet awe ?

    There are few things I like better

    Than to gaze for hours at the moon . . .

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  21. The exposure in this one, mentally, emotionally, and physically, is overwhelming. Beautiful words.

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  22. *Bows down*

    Wow!!
    All the senses revealed in a single poem.
    Just loved it.
    Women and moon are so well connected, I could never have imagined that..:)
    All I can say id that, " The Moon shines again."

    Cheers

    Nuts

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  23. Reading it one time is never enough.Romantic, hypnotizing and calming.

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  24. Nevine, this is absolutely exquisite! Sensuality flows through the vivd images you have painted here with words; such a soft and subtle, lingering and tingling stroke you have.

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  25. ok I'm still excited over the "instructions" and the "truth" that I will need to come back to this later.

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  26. Oh my~

    At first I was overwhelmed with the image you chose and then, and then~

    Oh my~

    xo
    erin

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  27. Immense! Thanks for sharing Ms. Sultan. A very educating post, I see :)

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  28. Nevine, Awwww, I so loved .."my lips begin to promise love!"..So accurate expression!I love this poem, so romantic!
    Betty xx

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  29. sensual...

    and if she turns over, her backside shows... equally erotic!

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  30. Christopher – Who needs a quiet and peaceful neighborhood? That pretty girl will take your mind off of any distractions. ;-)

    Owen – You may… And I love gazing at the moon and stars, myself.

    Eva – And thank you for your beautiful words, too.

    Nipun – I think any woman will tell you that women are more connected to the moon than any man can ever imagine. Thank you for the bows, Nipun. They warmed my heart. :-)

    Zachary – You can come back and visit whenever you want. And read… ;-)

    Jessica – Oh, thank you so much. Your words leave a warm flow in my heart. I especially like the “lingering and tingling”. Thank you, Jessica.

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  31. Khulud – Hey, it’s not going anywhere, right? ;-)

    Erin – Hmmm… Your comments always make me think. “Oh my” leaves me thinking deeply. But I did get the message. Thank you, Erin.

    Fareed – Well, welcome back! I’m happy you found it educating. That’s quite exciting!

    Betty – Hello, you romantic soul. I’m glad you felt fuzzy over this one.

    LW – I can leave it to you to think up something else to add to this. Backside, indeed! ;-)

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  32. Great images... woven together, as you have here, i'm moved by image and fantasy. a good measure of a poem in my book.

    if you have a moment 1. could you update the link to my blog in the side bar (new url = http://blog.kimewilliams.com

    2. email me - i have a boon to ask of you 4today@gmail.com

    Namaste'

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  33. I just keep learning more and more about that ol moon, sweet ol thing. thanks for the ride, Nev~rick

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  34. Dear Nevine,

    The beauty of you poem, being a die hard romantic I couldn't help a tear or two trickling down my cheek, very overwhelming....

    Cheers
    Seema

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  35. Kim - Thank you much. And I've updated the link, and it finally works! I'll be emailing you shortly...

    Rick - He he he... glad you enjoyed!

    Seema - I'm so happy you were moved by it. Tears of joy are always good, though... :-)

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  36. Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

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  37. Right, most sublime poetry and there were three bits that left me speechless:

    1- Moon. Lua in Portuguese, Luna in Spanish and Lune in French. Always feminine. English, why do you have to be so neutral? :-)

    2- 'you blindfold my mouth
    with your hands' Where do you fish your lines from? I want to access that secret lake. By the way, you inspired a post that I'm writing at the moment for April under the heading 'Of Literature and Other Abstract Thoughts'. I'll keep you posted.

    3- That 'shhh', different font and colour. Stroke of genius. Loved it.

    Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

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  38. what can i say? i happen to like ALL of the woman! ;) lol

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  39. Nevine!!!! just like you said!!! it happened - it just started falling on me like rain!!!
    I was just using the freewriting and whaaaam!!!
    I've got it! well, at least a much better picture, found some kind of a story-line, some "what if" - and there it was!
    you can't imagine how much your comments are of value to me.
    thanks a bunch!
    sending u a big big hug from beautiful Haifa
    khulud

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  40. I might have wrote the same thing before couple times but 'this is definitely the best poem I read from you'...I just love LOVE it..

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  41. I love the lines about the hands being sacred guardians of a blurred dream. It sums up how much one person can be the source of delight and joy. But the loss of those hands can be even more painful.

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  42. Travis - Thank you for the visit and the nice words.

    Cuban - Ah, yes! English is such a neutral language, isn't it? Sometimes one has to play with one's imagination to make things work. But, I also come from a culture where everything has a gender, so gender is already ingrained in my system. And, I can't wait to read your post in April... I'll be looking forward to it. Thanks, Cuban. You always manage to pump me up! :-)

    LW - I'll say you do... I know that already. ;-)

    Khulud - Well, I'm so glad to hear about your major breakthrough. Inevitably, when we freewrite, magic happens. I've been there. I'm there quite often, and it's such an exhilarating feeling. I'm smiling for you. Hugs back, Khulud.

    Turquoise - Thank you so much. I thought you might like this one.

    Mme. DeFarge - Loss is always a fear when a relationship feels sacred. I think our fear comes with knowing we're going to lose certain aspects, versus the whole. The whole is something we cherish, as well. But we always feel more devoted to certain parts of the Other.

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  43. He he he, LW! You knew I would, too!!! ;-)

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  44. of course... you're a woman! :O lol

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  45. you know how to involve a mans atention , Nevine ....

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  46. just had to return here to read ur lovely poems again & view the beautiful pics!

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  47. LW - ;-)

    Caio - Hmmm... Only sometimes, I think... :-)

    Smita - Thank you. You can come by and visit whenever you like.

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  48. Nevine, you are such a poetic master! This is absolutely beautiful!

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  49. Thanks, Felicitas! You are, as always, so gracious with your words! :-)

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  50. Ahh...you pour your hand down my back and
    blindfold my mouth. I am amazed how you
    enlighten language, Nevine. A romantic beauty
    this one.

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  51. And I am amazed at how you lighten my heart with your words, Cynthia. Thank you for your sweet comment!

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  52. there are no words for these moments - and yet you find them, always - and transport us breathlessly through them. stunning work.

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  53. Lovely poem. I may be the only one in your secular crowd who notices, but given our recent exchanges about the interesting word choices you’ve made in some of your poems, I couldn't pass up commenting on this one. Once again you have used language with religious connotation. The transfiguration is one of the Miracles of the New Testament. Given what I know of your belief system, I find these repeated allusions fascinating. Maybe I’m making too much of this.

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  54. Joaquin - Thank you for your kind words. But I think that you know, more than anyone, that we manage to find the words for just about anything. I know you do...

    Judy - It's funny, but I didn't even think about that when I chose the title. It just seemed appropriate for the moon's turning into a woman. See what I mean? My fascination is beyond conscious... Still, I remain fascinated by what I lack. And I feel all the richer for it... spiritually, that is. :-)

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  55. You know how much I love imagery that contains the moon. This is exquisite!

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  56. Thanks, Cat! Happy you liked it. Come to think of it, it makes sense that you would... I know you!

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Your thoughts are deeply appreciated.