Saturday, September 25, 2010

immortalized... on thin air

Lovers by E. Thor Carlson

in the beginning…
there is a rolling fog

or perhaps
it is a hovering mist

and he will fade
vanish
and be gone
and then…
there are the shadows of night

and he will be
darkly dressed
evading recognition
and as her eyes are distracted

by shooting stars
he will merge with restless shadows

and he will fade
vanish
and be gone
and she will know

the vacuum of emptiness
each moment
more bottomless than the last
while there is nothing to dam
the surge of her sorrow
and this pain probes
like a thin cold wire
so her heart shouts out
a cry of anguish
into the silent space
once inhabited by
his voice

her cry
striking a distant chord

that echoes
to fill the enveloping void
and on our doorstep lie my tears
and to our ceiling cling my sighs
and something fragile enters her soul
and she hears his footsteps
indistinct
in the chill air of dawn
but i feel i am watering tin flowers
and she utters a cry so dejected
it jerks her from her sleep

and i find you warm beside me
your secret fingers
inside my secret lips
and no breath parts us
and they shine and shimmer
while their tongues hammer
mad ecstasies
and ancient lullabies
and outside
the sea descends
from a sidewise sky
and we sink
into the wetness of its tears
that delicately necklace
about a universe morning-gowned
in glimmering amethyst and pearl
and you are thought
and you are quill
and you are ink
and i am your words
immortalized...
on thin air

33 comments:

  1. I just dont know how you do it my friend. Your words transport me to the place you write of, full of emotion...in all its depths.

    love this.

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  2. Loved this one, Nevine.
    It is the purity of emotion, the time to ponder and lift thought to another dimension.
    Each word carries substance and a heart beats within the rhythm.

    I adore this poem!!

    Hope you're having a superb weekend, my sweet friend!

    Warmest Hugs,

    B xx

    TTYFF

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  3. "and you are thought
    and you are quill
    and you are ink
    and i am your words
    immortalized...
    on thin air"

    So beautiful! Simply adorable;o)

    ***
    Une myriade de bisous
    and wish you a very starry weekend*******

    ***

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  4. This is so passionately profound, Nevine. As always, your writing is so layered and beautifully written, it evokes emotion and thoughts and senses alike. My favourite part was,

    "and something fragile enters her soul
    and she hears his footsteps
    indistinct
    in the chill air of dawn."

    Hauntingly wonderful.

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  5. "and outside
    the sea descends
    from a sidewise sky"

    I had to read this several times before I realised you were talking about how the ocean and sky look when a person is lying on their side and then everything made sense to me and the images were so beautiful that I was breathtaken.

    Just stunning work, Nevine.

    Jai

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  6. Beautiful, it is.
    It started off in a tone of misery and ends in such a beautiful and happy manner, I like it, like it, like it! :)

    Cheers

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  7. Amazingly passionate, beautiful and oh the ecstasies between the two, the fear of losing one and then the pain following...so vivid yet they're mere reflections, memories such as of lovers tangling. I love the distinct imagery in this; one of my favorite i have to admit. You manage to take me places i only see in my mind my sweetest delight. How i adore your words immortalized in thin air.

    With love and warmest hugs always~
    Wild Rose~

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  8. "..the wetness of its tears
    that delicately necklace
    about a universe morning-gowned
    in glimmering amethyst and pearl.." Truly beautiful.

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  9. Yours is not just that word 'poetry' but wisely chosen words to state what passion is, and they roll down in stanzas all linked -almost tingled- one to the other, for there can't be a pause in a mind like yours, so there can't be a pause in your words, as they roll down... and one reads always as if getting into that world of yours which is not your bed-room anymore or the one next to you ... it's the whole world of your fantasy and dream made true in your rolling sentences, words, lines, verses, and in trying to capture yourself through them... You capture Me, QUEEN!

    xoxxo
    Dulce

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  10. I wish someone, anyone.... that could have that much love for me that I could do those things to them... and then to be such a perfect fit for the adventure which is life...

    Nevine there were moments in reading where I found myself spinning out of control with desire....

    this was....


    mystical

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  11. Betty – Lifting thought to another dimension… oh, Betty, you describe it so well. That is exactly how it is. And I feel your words because lately, I have been so pressed for time, and have not been able to indulge in that pleasure as I so love to do. I adored your words… and my weekend… I am trying to catch up on everything! But then, that is what weekends are for, right? Warm hugs back to you, dearest Betty!

    Steven – I do it because friends like you encourage with your kind words. And that keeps me going, dear friend!

    Cremilde – But not as beautiful as your soul, ma belle. Merci mille fois, et gros smack! :-)

    Sam – Thank you, as always, for the beautiful words. And I love that you shared your favorite part. You can’t imagine how helpful that is for me… not to mention that it pumps my ego! ;-)

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  12. Bard – It is always “what they said” that matters. Thank you for what you said, Bard.

    Jai – You are always such a careful reader. And yes, that is how the sky looks when we lie on our side… exactly! I’m thrilled you were “breathtaken”, too. Thanks, Jai!

    Blasphemous Aesthete – At the end of all miseries lie endless joys. And life always smiles after it frowns. So glad you liked it, Sir. And thank you for your dedicated readership! I truly appreciate it.

    Mark – Thank you!

    Wild Rose – And how I adored your every word, my dear. Fear and pain truly are reflections and memories, and what a lovely descriptive that is! I’m smiling at having transported you to a place only in your imagination. Imagination is so very creative… oh, if life could only be have as fun! ;-) Warmest hugs back to you, my sweet friend!

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  13. Martin – Thank you millions for sharing some lines you found “truly beautiful.” I appreciate that.

    Dulce – My mind, it seems, never pauses… and brings me much grief because it will take no rest. Even when I wish for it to just stop for a moment, it challenges me. But, as they say… there are negatives to an idle mind, too. But then… Your words are beautiful… like you… with their very own poetry… and they fill my soul with smiles… and my eyes with stardust… because any words from the Sweetest… are the Sweetest Words! Thank you, and love to you, my Sweet!

    Sir Thomas – If my words can make you… the master of seductive writing… spin out of control with desire… then I have done something good. And hey, I love the word “mystical”. You don’t know how much meaning that has for me. :-)

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  14. Google has eaten my comment and so I have to start again!

    Nevine, you are a fairy and I thank you for your nice compliment!

    ****/\****
    **<****>**
    ***\/\/***

    I love the way you manipulate words in such a beautiful way that we as readers are transported into your world.
    And my soul would surely have been as beautiful as your texts if I had had a fairy like you above my crib;o)

    ***
    Gros bious, ma belle*
    et que ton étoile te guide
    et te préserve toujours, toujours*******

    ps for Mr Google: are you jealous or what?

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  15. Argh! GROS BISOUS!

    ****/\****
    **<****>**
    ***\/\/***

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  16. I loved the way how this piece started by permeating the exterior and interior landscapes. As I read on, I became acutely conscious of every feeling and action. You have beautifully painted the emotions. The beauty of your work is that it appeals to readers in such a way that they think of themselves in the persona's place. Personal yet detached, perceiving yet perceived!

    Lovely, Nevine.

    Warm hugs and much love,
    Susan

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  17. Cremilde - Well, you have left me speechless, this time. What can I say in response to your lovely words? And yes, Google is quite jealous, I feel. ;-) Thank you for the beautiful words and the warm wishes, and Bisous to you, mon amie! Muah!

    Susan - I loved this part, especially, of your comment: Personal yet detached, perceiving yet perceived! That really puts things into perspective for me. And that is truly a special feeling... when my own writing is put into a higher perspective by the observation of a reader... but not just any reader, Susan. You! Thank you and warmest hugs to you, as well!

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  18. There are not many easy ways of describing loss, either through bereavement or separation, but there's only one word to describe your poem: magical. Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

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  19. I have been catching up on your writing, Nevine. It seems we are all feeling the pull of our busy lives.
    And while I don't often comment, it is only because my words always seem so pale after reading the richness of yours. (ahh, to be able to write...)
    But know this, your words never fail to stir something inside of me.

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  20. What a beautiful piece of writing. :-)

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  21. exquisite - and one of my favorites, i might add - but then, all of yours are my favorites, nevine! you speak to the heart of us all! just magnificent!

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  22. Cuban - So happy you liked my "magical" poem. And you're so right about loss, too.

    Deb - Life calls and we can't help but be pulled into it. And please, feel no pressure about commenting. It makes me smile to know you enjoy reading my work, so how can I complain? Thank you for stopping in, Deb.

    Paul - Thank you for that very kind comment.

    Jenean - You're too sweet for words. You're always too sweet for words. Thank you, Jenean!

    Yoli - Thank you.

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  23. Wow, Wow, Wow.....all the way through,

    You have the sorcery, potions and charms, bewitching you do it....

    i have no choice but to follow the sound of your lute,
    word after word
    and then,
    you elude into thin air just when i thought i caught your glance!

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  24. Now I KNOW I commented on this--how could I not?--so, where did it go? Did I just hear a 'burp' from BLOGGER?

    So many hauntingly lovely words here, SO descriptive:

    "the sea descends
    from a sidewise sky
    and we sink
    into the wetness of its tears..."

    I LOVE to be wet in a rainy situation like that! And OMG...THIS line (I cannot even complete the thought in writing):

    "...your secret fingers inside my....." WOW!

    Nevine, there's so much more to write, but I've got to stop right here, I hope you do understand! Meditation, you know?

    --steveroni...incognito.

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  25. Hey! The comment you wrote on Sweeter's "You Almost Convinced Me" is SO 'right-on'. You sum it all into the bottom-line 'net' figure.

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  26. Many people clearly have their favorite line from this poem. The part I like the best, is also the best I've read in quite a while...

    "but i feel i am watering tin flowers"

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  27. I've just now been able to read your poem, and what an experience. There is so much to like here that I am afraid I would end up quoting the entire poem. Simply lovely, full of fresh images ... sideways sky ... watering tin flowers. I am in awe.

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Your thoughts are deeply appreciated.