Sunday, October 10, 2010

doppelgänger

Doppelgänger by Agnieszka Szwengier

who are you

you drift away from me
like a leaf drifts from its tree
you drift you drift you drift
and if you were a traveler
you would be marco polo

adventurous and animate
spirit of flight
but i lied to myself and
told myself i had gifted you
had delivered you from hell

and we were poets
and we were princesses
and you were epic
and i was ode
and we were history

but we were children
sitting in a circle around the fire
listening to ghost stories
and scaring ourselves and
one another with flitting fingers

in the dark

and you in my imagination
though right there beside me

you were immobile
not in a state of rest
but in a state of paralysis
defying all axioms
and theories of relativity

defying gravity

and i was stone

and there was a girl
sometimes happy
sometimes sad
with stars in her eyes
and a cloud in her throat

and you were me
and i was you

but that was was
and no longer is
and i sit here
now
wondering who you are
but who am i
while you watch me
deliver myself to evil

and you watch me fall

and i tuck myself into this descent
as snugly as i can and you tell me
don’t go don’t go don’t go
and i see it in your eyes
that you want to follow me
and i see it in your eyes
that you are trying
to fight the emerging flames
and i see it in your eyes
that you are doing the arithmetic

when you are here
we are two
when you are gone
we will be one

and one
gone

and i wilt and dissolve
like flower stems in brackish water
and you float and flutter
like rose petals on a night stand

and you are earth
and you are heaven
and i am stone

and you are grief
and you are tears
and i am fall

from grace

eternal
irrevocable
original

and we are mud
and we are dust
and we are ashes

and you are spirit
and i am flesh

And We are One.


29 comments:

  1. oh my dear Nevine. i'm once again undone...

    two lines from this particularly taunt my soul.

    "and i tuck myself into this descent
    as snugly as i can and you tell me..."

    what a powerful contrast of comfort and catastrophe. thank you.

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  2. and I am stone...
    Really nice Nevine!
    A treat for my morning.

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  3. Nevine, "..with stars in her eyes
    and a cloud in her throat.." conjures such an image. Wonderful word artwork.

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  4. That is a very profound and inspirational piece, dear Nevine.
    Loved this poem. It actually sent a shiver down my spine. I don't know why but it did.
    Your imagery creates so vivid mental pictures...you're gifted with lively poetic imagination.
    "defying gravity and I am stone.." "when you are here we are two, when you are gone we will be one.." Really stunning!
    Loved this poem/tribute to a timeless existence!

    Lots of well deserved love for you my wonderful friend!

    HUGS and HUGS!!

    Betty XX

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  5. There are some beautiful images in this piece certainly stirs the emotions

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  6. I loved how you lulled the reader into thinking that this friend was the one who had drifted away into darkness:
    "but i lied to myself and
    told myself i had gifted you
    had delivered you from hell"

    Then the focus shifts right here:
    "while you watch me
    deliver myself to evil".

    And we understand that really it was the narrator who had drifted from the friend.

    This is a beautiful piece, Nevine. We all have friends from childhood that we grow apart from - either because they went down a dark road or we did - and it's hard to understand why it happened. You captured the sadness and yet the inevitability so well.

    Jai

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  7. For some reason, this reminds me of looking at a picture of myself when I was young and wondering where all the hope and fun went to. You may not have meant anything like that, but it's like looking back on my life and asking when I stopped being me.

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  8. Fantastic imagery my sweetest delight in this piece, you totally took my breath away with all the lines carrying a different revelation of you but will pick out some...

    'when you are here
    we are two
    when you are gone
    we will be one

    and one
    gone'

    This is more like your subconscious part or an inner deeper self of you. Your writing like an outsider watching your life unfolding..you are speaking to yourself, watching yourself, feeling yourself glide through the motions and emotions of life, poignant and so beautiful.

    With my warmest love and hugs,
    Wild Rose~

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  9. Wow. This is beautiful. And what a perfect image for it.

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  10. Breathtaking. It is truly beautiful. I miss your words so much when I take time away, but it is wonderful to come back and feel them bring something to life inside me again.

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  11. Dear Nevine, so many contrasts, images, stories and experience. This piece seemed to me a lovely amalgamation of the primal self and the modern. It was as if life has been strung into words and coaxed verses. Brilliant, dear Nevine.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  12. Kim – “… comfort and catastrophe.” With those two words, you captured the essence of my poem, Kim. Thank you for your wonderful readership.

    Pat – Glad to have treated you… as you have treated me so many times with your lovely words and your striking photos. Thank you, Pat.

    Martin – Thank you for the lovely comment.

    Betty – So happy you enjoyed this “tribute”. Your comments always leave me feeling like a million bucks. You certainly have a way with words, Betty. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend!

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  13. Katy – Thank you for the nice words, and welcome.

    Jai – Interesting to me how you read this piece. I had more of a “double” concept in mind, i.e., the narrator’s “other self”. But the idea of its being about two childhood friends who drift away from each other is quite compelling, too. I love the different interpretations that we can come up with for poetry. That’s what makes it so interesting to work with. Thank you for the beautiful comment, Jai. It was eye-opening and unique.

    Mme. DeFarge – I think we all have experienced similar moments to the one you describe. At some point in life, we do revert to childhood memories… and end up feeling short-changed.

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  14. Wild Rose – Yes, it is a bit of the subconscious/conscious battle, which really never ends for any of us. I think it makes life so very interesting, too. I’m so happy you liked it, Wild Rose. Warmest hugs back to you, my dear.

    Trish and Rob – Thank you.

    Eva – So nice to see you back. You’ve been away for quite a while. But breaks are so very important, too. Life does call us away. Happy to see you here again, Eva. Thank you for the nice words.

    Susan – “… as if life has been strung into words…” That was lovely, Susan! A far more brilliant string of words than my very humble poem can ever deserve. Thank you, as always, dear Susan.

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  15. I've read the piece. I've read the comments - theirs AND yours. I STILL don't know what to say.

    It says so much.

    Touches me in so many places.

    Not always gently.

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  16. Whether it's you drifting from your past self/selves, or really is about another girl known long ago, little matter, we drift from our own past selves just as we drift from others... so rare to stay close to anyone in the long run, yet so beautiful when it happens... life is so damn short, and we are all stone, except in rare moments when stones spread wings and are uplifted... like when reading your poems Nevine, or when finding an abandoned motel on a rain-drenched back country road... for example... Wishing you supertankers full of starlight...

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  18. Nevine, that's so interesting! I totally read it differently to the idea of one person's split personality but reading it again I see exactly what you mean. Also, the idea of the conscious vs the subconscious is a great interpretation.

    Don't you just love that about poetry? There can be so many different meanings applied even when we don't intend that meaning. Great work.

    Jai

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  19. Where should I start--- This poem says so many things my dearest woman... Are you a stone? How can a stone be with such words of love.

    I don't know where to go in my comment. I guess this is/was a friend in need or one who left and left your heart as a stone full of tears. It's also the friend in you who is your own friend, partly you and partly herself.
    Anyway, this is worderfully said.AGAIN

    Love you
    ;)
    D.

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  20. "and there was a girl
    sometimes happy
    sometimes sad
    with stars in her eyes
    and a cloud in her throat"

    I love it all! But these are my favourite lines as I'm sure you already knew!
    Could be me, could be you;o)
    "Stars" and "clouds" are such beautiful metaphors to express joy and sadness.
    Thanks for this lovely poem, ma belle amie,
    and have a beautiful week;o)

    ***
    SMACK SMACK SMACK*******

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  21. Lou - It was not a gentle write for me, either. So, I understand your not knowing what to say. But hey, sometimes... everything is said in the silence. ;-)

    Owen - Your comment opened so many doors of thought. You know, I consider myself lucky if I can stay close to myself, sometimes. The truth is, at times, that can be a real challenge. So thank you for the tankers of starlight... They gleam on me... and make me smile. :-)

    Jai - Hey, I always say the most fun thing about poetry is it's just that flexible. Twenty of us can read one piece and come up with twenty different interpretations!

    Dulce - I think you might have opened the door that I didn't want to open. Maybe it IS part me, part some other friend. Sometimes things come from inside us and just float to the surface... and when that happens... I take it and don't ask why. But then you come along with a little light... and I see clearly, my sweet! Love you back... immensely!

    Cremilde - You are the "star" fairy! So, there is no question about that. And I'm so happy you enjoyed this humble poem, ma belle Cremilde! Wishing you a beautiful week back, et gros smacks!!!

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  22. Nevine,
    It isnt possible to stop once i start.....

    Reading you, means to be catapulted into the unexpected, inspite of the constant unity to who you are or how you write.
    Whatever be the pace.
    Whether your dual, and non-dual hops from the windows to frequent ghosts, and other ghosts within ghosts,......your ghosts and your psyche alway have love affair all the time or pure adultry in unbelievable ways, fearlessly , passionately.....

    Eh bien, Ta façon d'aborder un sujet est tellement fascinant, que tu me laisse eblouié comme toujours.

    i really loved the tempo, and the pursuit of your images.

    Its hard to take my eyes of you until the dance is over.
    But with you, the dance permeates, disturbs,subjugates, exalts....i'm hypnotised!

    'You are the spirit....and we are One'

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  23. COL - Your words are always like a post unto themselves. You can't imagine how much I appreciate all the thought you put into this space. And I truly believe it is your own exquisite imagination that makes my words seem as lovely and as meaningful as you describe them to be. Thank you so much for the beautifully poetic thoughts you share... and for your ever kind friendship.

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  24. Hi Nevine! I posted earlier here, but I think it fell through a crack in Blogger, again.

    So I'll try again.

    I was going to wait until I'd calmed down with this plagiarism thing before visiting you because I didn't want it to spoil the rhapsody of reading your work. But, after I decided to risk it anyway, I found that this poem actually soothed me. There may be a lot of bad people out there, but all it takes is one poem from you to make them go away until the next trial!

    Thanks for returning my sanity.

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  25. "...sometimes... everything is said in the silence. ;-)"

    Sweet Nevine! Somehow I was beginning to identify. THEN I read your comment to Lou (quoted above).

    In music it is an axiom (mine!) that the silences are more expressive, emotional, than are the noted, regulated parts. The quiet moments open me to an introspective part which is frequently lost in the daily shuffle of events.

    Now in your words, I find the same--that silences speak volumes. When I pause as I read you--it helps me understand your thought.

    And I love that. What good is communication without SOME understanding?

    For a short time i am not posting but I cannot NOT read a few of my 'closest'--and you are certainly in that small number!
    PEACE.
    Love.
    Steve E

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  26. Nevine what you have done to me here is...

    take me on this ride with you that I too go on from time to time. but your words describe that which I cannot, beautiful and yet just like life full of darkness and light....


    Nevine you never cease to amaze me...

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  28. Just another thought, Nevine. The more we've dug into this, the larger the enterprise for plagiarism and resale of writer's works grows. My case is a good example as posted on my blog, but my story was re-typed by David Boyer the plagiarist (also known as David Byron the plagiarist and he has fifteen other aliases we know about). Your work is freely displayed and available for cut and paste and re-submission under someone else's name. I'm worried about that. In fact, I'll ask my staff to do preliminary searches to see if your work is showing up somewhere else under someone else's name. If you don't mind, I mean

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  29. its profound, me and my spirit... aah yes, one is adventurous, the other wants to stay.

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Your thoughts are deeply appreciated.