Saturday, June 25, 2011

Sottovoce

Detail from Docile Bodies by Patricia Arnillas

if… when you go
something remains of you
besides the glimmering absence
of your voice
carried like stardust
on the air
of a warm and calming
summer night

if… i mean to say
something remains of you
besides the skeletal shudder
of my half-opened windows
agitated like a ghost
in the gust
of a cold and biting
winter storm

if... something
and only if

i’ll know that
absent as you are
you are yet here

in

the clack of shoes
on the pavement
the glide of rain
on the ground
the caress of a lock’s tongue
to its housing

in

my breathless wait
for the flame of the candle
to spark
at the sound of your key
twisting inside the door

in

anticipation of your voice
to enter
to cast
its beloved shadow
in hushed whispers
upon the whitewashed walls
of my expectant heart

39 comments:

  1. this has a mournful feel to me...beautifully written as always, full of emotion and rawness...it lingers.

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  2. It is a very feminine poem, I feel. That is to say, it could only have been written by a woman. Besides the soft voice there are a number of subtle metaphors in the waiting, expectancy and being open, receptive. Only a woman's mind woud work that way. Good poem.

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  3. MASTERFUL, Nevine! Only IF!
    And yet—I can hear, 'see', and 'feel'...

    This:
    "if...something
    and only if

    I'll know that
    absent as you are
    you are yet here

    in"

    OH MY...How much of one's
    very heart and soul
    can so perfectly be expressed
    in simple words.

    MAGNIFICO!!!!!!! thank you, Queen Sultan!

    PEACE!

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  4. C'est très beau et très lyrique!
    Par contre l'image évoque le suicide, pour moi! Mais ça n'enlève rien à la beauté du poème;o)
    And "in my breathless wait for the flame of the candle to spark" I wish you a wonderful weekend, ma belle Nevine;o)

    ***
    Big BIZZZOUZZZZ* et donne mon bonjour à qui tu sais***

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  5. And, yes! The elder are not always the wiser! He he he;o)

    ***
    SMACK SMACK SMACK****

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  6. "glimmering absense
    of your voice"

    and

    "the caress of a lock's tongue"

    - such beautiful images! I could feel the longing and the mourning.

    Jai

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  7. Yes, it lingers, like the aftertaste of a sip of wine, the faint aroma of a perfumed body ... there is so much here that evokes the palpable sense of loss and yet presence of someone absent but yearned for. Well done, Nevine.

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  8. I think it is the whitewashed walls of an expectant heart that do it for me here... you surpass yourself Nevine...

    Rising higher and higher, to shine

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  9. Really good Nevine! I need to catch up here and I'll be back soon to do so!

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  10. Beautiful and poignant piece Nevine. :D

    It really has the pangs and melancholy and yet the sweetness of love, now apart, however short the time might be. :)

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  11. Absence seems beautifully crafted in these verses. If only these words could erase the absence and the pain it renders . . .

    Lovely to be reading you after a very long time, dear Nevine. Hope you've been well.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  12. David – Mournful, yes. Isn’t the absence of a loved one almost always a time of mourning? Indeed, it is. Thank you, dear friend, for your sweet words.

    u.v.ray – Thank you. I do have to say, though, that I've read some poetry written by men that was equally soft. But yes, I do know what you mean about it being a feminine poem. I would agree that if I read this piece without knowing the gender of the writer, I would guess it was written by a woman. Thank you for the thoughts, u.v.ray!

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  13. Steve – He he he… Queen Sultan. An oxymoron… yet still equal in position, though not in gender. Am I making any sense? You are always so enthusiastic, Steve. And the enthusiasm you spread is very contagious. Thank you for always being a positive spirit. :-)

    Cremilde – Yes, I do agree about the image. It is a bit jagged and harsh. But, in its harshness I found one of the hands poised… almost… as if pressing upon the fingerboard of an invisible violin… and the other hand poised as if holding the invisible bow. And that third hand… reaching… grasping for it knows not what. Oh, that was what I saw as I searched for images, ma belle. And I am always amazed at how we see things in different ways. Merci, mon amie, for your staunch support of everything I do. Tu es un trésor! Wishing you a lovely week… et gros bisous, comme toujours!!! Et, je lui dirai… ;-)

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  14. Jai – Thanks, Jai. This piece was truly all about longing and mourning… those strongest of emotions in the absence of a loved one.

    Judy – I loved how you described this piece. You put it in a nutshell in such a way… I never would have thought to come up with such words. Thank you, Judy.

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  15. Owen – Thank you for sharing your favorite lines, Owen. I always appreciate that. :-)

    Pat – Oh, you haven't missed much, I tell you. I've been quite absent lately, Pat. But thanks for swinging by...

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  16. Blasphemous Aesthete – I tried to capture both the enveloping melancholy and the persistent love. Yes, even when the time of being apart is short, it is yet painful. Thank you for the kind words, Blasphemous Aesthete.

    Susan – So lovely to see you here. And yes, if only pain could be erased by beautiful words. Unfortunately, that is not ever the case. But how we all wish it were… Thank you for the lovely thoughts, Susan.

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  17. The shadow of a voice on the whitewashed walls of an expectant heart, is something that will stay with me.

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  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  19. your writing is so vivid and tender, almost like I am dreaming your words as I'm reading them. Very beautiful, Nevine!

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  20. "If I were to sleep, I could dream". Only to (maybe, who knows?) figure out why the talented Mrs Sultan stopped visiting me all of a sudden.

    It's not very often I ponder the whys and wherefores of bloggers' decisions. After all, we all pop in and out of each other's spaces, but... well... we're human. Just human.

    The reason for my comment?

    "my breathless wait
    for the flame of the candle
    to spark
    at the sound of your key
    twisting inside the door"

    Priceless, as usual.

    First line of my post is taken from "If" by Pink Floyd, which carries on thus:

    "If I go insane, please don't put your wires in my brain.
    If I were the moon, I'd be cool.
    If I were a rule, I would bend.
    If I were a good man, I'd understand the spaces between friends.
    If I were alone, I would cry."

    Greetings from London.

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  21. Martin - Thank you, Martin. Lovely to know the lines you liked...

    Camille - And this is the place for dreaming, isn't it? I'm all about dreaming... while reading... while writing... while living. :-) Thank you, Camille.

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  22. Cuban - Let my just tell you, lest you spend too much time trying to figure out the why's and why not's... though I have been posting on my blog (very scarcely), I have not been quite present in other places over the past few months. Here and there... yes. But pretty much absent, lately. Yet, I have to tell you that it's extremely gracious of you to swing by and visit, Cuban. I'm really smiling to see you here. After all, you were one of my first readers... and I've always enjoyed exchanging thoughts with you about everything. So thank you for coming by and leaving your honest thoughts, which are always appreciated. :-)

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  23. aw, nevine, how beautifully these divine verses bring out the emotion in me!

    oh well, absence may bring despair but your inspirational poem brings out so much love and tenderness!
    I adore this one!

    have a great day, my dearest!

    hugs!
    betty xx

    p.s. you got me hooked!!
    great image you paired with it.

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  24. Betty - Thank you, my dear friend. And thank you especially for stopping in while not feeling so well. You didn't have to... but you did. And I appreciate it... and you. I hope you get well very very soon. Take care of yourself and try to relax. Hugs back to you... and I hope to see you back online soon... with lots of beauty to share with all of us... like you always do! :-)

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  25. Today I want to say that I also love reading the comments left by the other readers.... not so "others" anymore.
    I'd so love to have these people arround a coffee table, all of us reading Nevine's inexhaustible poems and drinking from each one's cups.

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  26. Your words leave me speechless. There is so much longing here. It captures missing someone in a way that is often hard to put into words. I miss your writing when I am away. Beautiful.

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  27. Adriana - What a lovely thought! And you've put it into such beautiful words. It's true that there are no "others" here. We've come to know one another quite well. And your presence here is so warming to my heart. Thank you, dear Adriana.

    Eva - Thank you for the very nice words. And we do all need time away, don't we? I've been taking my time away between posts, and that seems to be working out for me. It's so good to see you here, Eva.

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  28. You're welcome, Nevine. Thanks for popping by. And as my latest post suggests there's even a bigger incentive now for any reader/blogger who wishes to share her/his cooking skills and musical tastes in my space.

    Many thanks for your thoughtful words.

    Greetings from London.

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  29. Coucou ma belle!
    J'ai beaucoup aimé ton dernier post dans TNL! La photo est merveilleuse! Une fleur de rhododendron, peut-être?
    La nature est la plus belle création artistique, il suffit de bien regarder! Elle est aussi la plus grande source d'inspiration pour les artistes!
    J'ai aussi lu la lettre qui précède et elle a évoqué, sans que je puisse me rappeler exactement lesquels, des moments où au comble du bonheur, un petit nuage qu'on avait pas vu arriver, vient tout gâcher!


    ¤ BIZZZOUZZZ et une belle fin de semaine remplie de tout ce que la vie a de meilleur ¤

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  30. Cuban - It was my absolute pleasure to swing by! And I promise to do so more often, certainly. I look forward to sharing the gift of your space with others as they, too, share their culinary and musical delights. Thanks again, Cuban!

    Mildred - Merci, ma belle. En faite, c'est des fleurs de myrte, dans la photo. Très très populaire, ici! Mais c’est un type de myrtes locales. Des myrtes, j’en ai deux dans mon jardin. Un qui fleurit en rose, et l’autre qui fleurit en blanc. J’adore mes myrtes! Complètement jolis en juin, en juillet, et en août! Et pour la lettre… ouf! Des nuages, oui! Merci pour ta gentillesse, mon amie! Je l’apprécie, comme toujours. Gros bisous!!! :-)

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  31. Coucou, ma belle;o) Tu te lèves très tôt!
    J'ai cherché ce qu'étaient les fleurs de myrte et je crois que c'est ce qu'on appelle 'lilas des Indes'! J'en ai déjà vu dans le midi de la France, mais en Lorraine j'en ai pas le souvenir. Peut-être parce que le climat est trop rude.
    ¤ Big bisous et belle journée sereine et heureuse ¤

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  32. J'aime beaucoup l'idée de garder un secret au fond de son cœur sans jamais se laisser tenter à le trahir! Quelle belle complicité cela traduit;o)
    Et je crois qu'il y a parfois des secrets que l'on ne peut partager qu'avec soi-même!
    ¤ SMACK SMACK SMACK ¤

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  33. I am left in such anticipation, I can feel the excitement in my fingertips, God you bring a sensualist to full bliss. Amazing!

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  34. touched the love inside that great poem...!
    Renée

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  35. Cremilde - Des secrets qu'on ne partagent pas qu'aven soi-meme, j'en ai beaucoup! He he he... ;-)

    Lolita - So glad you liked it. And so happy to see you here! Thank you for swinging by. :-)

    Renee - Thank you, and thank you also for the visit.

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  36. "life becomes more colorful
    when the nightmare
    becomes obsession..."

    I'm glad I've lived a 'colourful' life so far. :-)

    Greetings from London.

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  37. He he he... me too, Cuban! :-)

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  38. Dark, sad and full of longing.
    I think we've all felt this, but the ability to express it like this is another thing.

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  39. Pat - Thank you for the lovely thoughts. :-)

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Your thoughts are deeply appreciated.