Saturday, November 3, 2012

Vanitas

Shadow of a Woman, Megan Headley

Something demands me
From behind that glass.

Longing. Ambition.
Recognition.

perfection

And I just want to stand
Beside myself
For a spell,

To observe myself
From this conventional distance,

To ponder why
I stand like I stand,

To ponder why
I wear what I wear,

To ponder why
I look like I look,

to ponder why
i fear what i fear

But then . . .

how blind, my winged ego!

To learn of these things
I might want
to thieve myself
from this place
To re-enter myself,

To see what I see,
To hear what I hear,
To feel what I feel,

to brutalize
this unutterable numbness

And then to smile,
And maybe to cry,

And maybe . . .

to weave tightropes
between clouds

To ponder why
And how
I am who I am,

i am who i am

To ask every question,
Without pause, without mercy,

And never to find
unbuttoned and
unpainted as i am
The Answer.

18 comments:

  1. Who are we really? Do we ever really know? Very thought provoking stuff, Nevine.

    Jai

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    1. Your questions, too, are thought-provoking, Jai! I can't know if we ever really know who we are. I know that we try to know... and that I'm satisfied with trying.

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  2. La lecture de ce texte a laissé mon esprit confus!
    Nous ne sommes peut-être qu'un rêve!
    Et des fois même, un cauchemar!

    ***
    GROS BISOUS et BON dimanche ma belle amie****

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  3. The existential questions that haunt all of us from time to time. But then, none of us can turn those questions into verse as you have done and in the process make those questions so beautiful. I wish I could think in verse -- esp, the existential hard hitting ones.

    Hope you are well and happy, dearest Nevine.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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    1. Lovely of you to stop in, Susan. Yes, from time to time, we stop in our tracks and linger on these thoughts. But then we can't linger too long, or we miss too much in the process. I am happy happy, Susan. What more can I ask? Thank you for the very kind words.

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  4. Never to find the Answer, so that we keep on asking and proving, so that we redefine ourselves anew every minute.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, and that's how we keep ourselves from becoming bored with the same old same old... and with ourselves. It's nice for us to be on our toes, every once in a while. It keeps us thinking... and feeling. And feeling is an absolute necessity!

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  5. Un petit coucou pour te souhaiter un merveilleux dimanche!
    Je repasserai bientôt te lire dans TNL!
    Là on s’apprête à partir à la foire au vin à Nancy;o)

    ***
    BISOUS et très BON dimanche, ma Zamie****

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    Replies
    1. Coucou, Mildred! Ne t'en fait pas avec TNL! J’espère que vous avez gouté beaucoup de bons vins!!! He he he… Big bisous, ma belle!

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    2. He he he! On ne les a pas tous goûtés et on a ramené seulement 9 bouteilles!
      En fait, à la maison c'est moi qui bois parce que mon chéri a quelques soucis de santé et ne doit boire qu'avec beaucoup beaucoup de modération!
      Je t'ai lu dans TNL et bien que n'ayant jamais rien lu d'Anaïs Nin, tu m'a donné envie de la connaître!
      Et quand tu dis: "because to dare is to be free" je suis totalement d'accord! Mais la liberté a parfois un prix très élevé...

      ***
      BISOUS x 1000 et bonne après-midi, ma belle amie****

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  6. ..."sull'oracolo di Delfi è scritto: "conosci te stesso". Già la classicità greca, coi loro grandi speculatori di pensiero, avevano capito che conoscere prima se stessi, significava poi conoscere gli altri. Ma io penso, che la conoscenza per l'uomo non abbia un limite, un confine delimitato. Ogni istante vissuto è una nuova esperienza, una nuova conoscenza. E tutto si ferma quando il processo mentale si arresta, quando silenziosa giunge la morte. Questo è il confine ultimo, oltre il quale all'uomo non è più concesso di sapere. E per quanto si possa riflettere sui grandi perché della vita, l'uomo si troverà sempre naufrago in un mare di dubbi, e incertezze, per la sua l'impossibile decifrazione esistenziale....così non restano che i sentimenti, grande àncora di salvezza cui aggrapparci...un caro abbraccio Nevine..

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    1. Grazie, Sergio. Sono d'accordo che conoscere se stessi significa conoscere gli altri, e anche che la conoscenza non ha un limite. Così, conoscere se stessi e un incarico di ogni giorno. Grazie per il tuo commentario, Sergio. Abbracci!

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    2. ...grazie a te Nevine. Il tuo lessico, il tuo scrivere in lingua italiana, è perfetto! Sei di origine Italiana?...Abbracci...

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  7. Ah, merci tout plein pour ton petit mot chez moi!
    Savoir que ta journée est belle m'a mise de très bonne humeur alors que j'étais plutôt d'humeur maussade!
    Ça a été comme un rayon de soleil!
    Merci encore mon amie;o)

    ***
    Re-BISOUS et à bientôt, ma belle Nevine****
    Ps: donne un grand bonjour à qui tu sais;o)

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    1. Je suis contente de t'avoir fait sourire!!! :-) Et oui... je lui donnerai ton bonjour! ;-) Merci, ma belle!!!

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  8. Coucou Nevine!
    Il y a un petit cadeau pour toi dans mon blog aujourd'hui! C'est ici!



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    Bisou et belle fin de semaine****

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Your thoughts are deeply appreciated.