Myrrh and Metanoia

Dark Abstraction, Georgia O'Keeffe

I will hold this moment

as though it were a visitation

from angels fallen

out of the heavens—fallen

into grace—and crying

in noiseless symphony.

Here is my open body.

Here is my uncut hair.

Here is the drunken spiral

of metamorphosis.

Here is the ritual incense

of salvation.

Here…

do not weep

Here…

the crimson tulip.

And here…

the dried up wounds,

faceted with oxidation.

do not wax indignant

Here…

an ingress.

And here…

a perforation

in the perfection

of empty platitudes.

understand

And here, too…

prayer—seated in quietude

upon my ribs—waiting for the

lamps of the sky to be illuminated.

* Words in italics from Baruch Spinoza

Intentions... and 2014

We’re down to the last couple of days of 2013. As the year draws to a close, and I continue to try and recover from a term of doctoral studies that just about did me in, I find myself taken by the very impermanence of… everything! Life is so very dynamic, and so are we. How beautiful is that! I’ve found that there is nothing more magical and gripping as the present moment, and my present moment is truly enchanting.

Being in my present moment… and taking in the sumptuousness of it all… I recognize that I would like to carry with me an intention into 2014. As I see it, an intention is not the same thing as a resolution. Resolutions are self-promises we make when driven by much necessity and little emotionality. As a result, we rarely succeed at keeping our resolutions. Intentions, on the other hand, are self-determinations we make with much emotionality and little or no necessity. Because our feelings are very much in the picture when it comes to our intentions, more often than not, we are successful in making those intentions real.

As my life unfolds in a series of present moments, the intention that I would like to take with me, to decorate every present moment as it happens spontaneously and spellbindingly, is this thought from the eternal Rumi:

I wish you all a 2014 filled with treasured intentions, and the patience and persistence to pave the paths that lead to the manifestation of those intentions. 2014 is going to be a magnificent year. I can feel it in my bones.

A Very Happy 2014 from me… to each and every one of you! :-)

Nevine

xoxoxo

Figure and Ground

Unknown Artist

how do i begin to paint

this picture?

here

now

today

in thought

in sensation

in body

you are

like yesterday

and tomorrow

and here

am i

the phobic lover

the pillar of organs

 and bone

waiting

for this stiff, unyielding heart

which forgets—time and again—to pulse

to curl into the totality of you

and ease

Where I've Been...

Unknown Artist

It’s the first day of fall. Yes, it really is! And though I’ve been back from my summer break for a while, now, I haven’t been back to my blogs. Truth be told, I was aching for an extended separation from technology. So, I took one. I’ve been doing the bare minimum, in that respect, i.e., sending and responding to important emails, taking care of educational and professional needs, and other such things.

On the personal end, I’ve just been so beautifully inside my world… so embedded in the realness of it. It’s almost as if I’ve been rediscovering the world I live inside… and the world that lives inside me. That’s not to suggest that these two worlds are separate from one another. They’re not. And so, I’ve been reconnecting with myself… and with my world. What a delicious dance it’s been!

How spiritually massaging it was to distance myself from my everyday existence, and take a break, for a while… only to return to that existence with freshly etched dreams and expectations. But, there’s just so much to do! So, while my break is truly over, I continue to inch my way back into all of the usual and habitual activities I like to engage. My coursework. My clients. My clinical papers. My students. And, a research study. But then, there’s room for pockets of free time, as well. There must be…

And so, on this first day of Fall, 2013:

I stop and watch the dust in the air swirl around… and settle.

I observe the leaves as they morph from green to gold.

I feel the cool nip of the morning air against my arms.

I smell fall... and winter in its trail.

I find pockets of empty space... and here I rest.

I allow the empty space to remain… empty.

I sit inside myself… and stay… for a spell.

I write… and write… and write some more.

I breathe… and breathe… and breathe some more.

I recline… inside the unknown.

I open myself up to the moment that is here… and now.

I lean into the enchantment this moment delivers… and it leans into me.

I am in this moment.

I... am... this moment.

As the ever inspiring and ever stirring poet, Mark Strand, once wrote:

Each moment is a place you’ve never been.

Now, that’s a truth!

Oh, and by the way… it’s lovely to be back!

Now, that’s another truth! :-)