Sunday, January 17, 2010

my chains


                     "Raphaelesque Head Exploding"
                                 by Salvador Dalí


i see myself enchained at times
imprisoned torn immobile alone
tossed and pressed by the wind
a weathervane twisting and turning
and going nowhere
a rooster that is trying to fly
a flurry of inept and gnarled wings
flapping and slapping
and going nowhere
and i anger and rebel with the usual
cowardliness of the incontinent
and impatience of the incapable
while my torment hides and mocks me
and i salute and admire and envy
its strength and courage and audacity
but i do stop and remind it
that the time will come
for it to tire and drop its armor
for it to quit and want to negotiate
a possible exchange of places
a possible exchange of scars


but my torment does not know
nor will i ever tell it
my chains are my armor
and when they are hot
they are my branding whips

44 comments:

  1. Nevine

    It's true, that which holds us is that which shapes us. Torment can mark us when we're held...it can also bring us to ground when we fly.

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  2. I'm in a huge rush right now but will read this in a couple of days when I can concentrate properly.

    Jai

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  3. Nevine ,I loved your powerful poem!!!
    Sometimes, we people love our chains.Strange!
    (our life style ,our habits...).
    We don't want to change our life.It's weird but we have been caught in a trap(chain)of security.
    hugsxx

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  4. these chains we carry around with us... you have expressed it to perfection!

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  5. This is a fantastic blend of despair and hope... of failure and eventual success... well done!

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  6. An exchange of scars ?

    And I hope your no doubt lovely back is not covered in the scars of your own branding whips, and that the back of your mind is not too terribly scarred from self imposed torments either...

    We all carry baggage from past torments I guess, some heavier than others. Perhaps the challenge is to find a way to abandon those bags, and fly off, much lighter... and not continue to carry such bags any longer than we must, simply because we have grown accustomed to carrying them, accustomed to the flurry of inept and gnarled wings...

    Rest easy Nevine... peace to you...

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  7. Dear Nevine:

    One: I was pretty breathless as I tried reading the poem without any pause or period.

    Two: Exchange of places and scars - now that is something I read and reread.

    Pain and despair was unleashed but still I did not feel it as I felt a strange redemption that the persona is going through.

    Splendid as always!

    Joy and passion always,
    Susan

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  8. That was really a great piece of work.
    Just loved it.
    Keep writing..

    Cheers

    Nuts

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  9. chains....funny how we embrace them sometime....powerful as always my friend

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  10. This is wonderful, great expression of thoughts and great image.

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  11. That was an amazing poem. You describe the heat of one's own torment in a very tangible way. I love the words you use, language flows beautifully from you.

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  12. sounds like me speaking sometimes .
    but you speaks better .

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  13. Martin – You said it so clearly, as you always do. You have simply read my mind, Martin.

    Jai – Take your time… I can almost hear you huffing and puffing! :-)

    Betty – We do love our chains, don’t we? But, what would we do without them?

    Shadow – And the load gets heavier as we go… Thanks, Shadow!

    Bard – Well, I didn’t want for it all to be despair. It’s so cliché, I know, but there’s always a light… :-) Oh, and I remembered to name the artist this time… ;-)

    Owen – My branding whips are usually for the torment, not for myself, thankfully. But after a particularly challenging past few days with my thoughts, I felt the need to just let it out. Even writing it has liberated me from some of the baggage, sure enough. Thanks, Owen! :-)

    Susan – You are so clever and perceptive to recognize the “redemption” because that was the ultimate message, here. At the end, we always find a way out of our chains, or we find a way to use them to our advantage. :-)

    Nipun – You’re an angel to visit, and I will keep writing. Thanks for the encouragement!

    Steven – We are funny creatures, aren’t we?

    Christopher – I’ll take credit for the thoughts… :-)

    Eva – I think words always flow best when they are most sincere. You are no stranger to this.

    Caio – Doesn’t it sound like all of us, sometimes? Thanks, Caio! :-)

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  14. Tell me why your poem makes me think of Eve as a caged bird in the Garden of Eden?
    I love the way you write and the effect it has on my odd mind.
    Warm regards and a lovely week to you my Dear.

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  15. Surely your zodiac sign is Libra, we are very hesitant because we want to make mistakes, we confused with our decisions undecided but taking it easy not to fail. A hug.I hope I have translated well.

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  16. Nevine- Hmm, strange. at times I was sad reading this, and then nearly aroused. Strange. Maybe because there is so much emotion with so many possibilities. ~rick

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  17. Simone - I think I might answer your question by saying, "Because you are Eve and for us Eves our chains are more like cages." Your odd mind is always welcome to enjoy from my odd mind... ;-) A great week to you too, Simone.

    El Drac - How I wish my Spanish was strong enough for me to thoroughly understand what you write on your lovely blog. Unfortunately for me, that is not the case. As for my sign, I am a Pisces, and am often undecided myself. And don't worry about translating well; I entirely understood what you said. :-) Hugs back to you.

    Rick - The possibilities are always endless when we're stuck; we just don't see them because we're too busy feeling stuck. As for your feeling sad while nearly aroused, I can understand that. There is such a fine line between what hurts us and what arouses us, it's almost too bizarre to consider.

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  18. Go, go, go! Oh, yes. Loved it. It was the 'you don't know how strong I am' kind of poem. My type of poetry, by the way. You see, I am an optimist by nature, cynical, yes, but optimist. :-)

    Greetings from London.

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  19. ah, dear nevine - i see you have been rummaging through my own closet of torment and armor - our thoughts run so closely parallel at times it is difficult for me to decipher your words from my own thoughts and/or words unsaid - and even some words said - exquisitely done, as usual!

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  20. Lovely- as always my dear queen.And painful- A tug of war---You and I have some...no, a lot in common!

    And I can teach you Spanish when you like!
    Hugs! ;)

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  21. There is a familiar comfort in our torments. I know mine and I know how they bend in the wind. I'd be lost without them and even more lost if they changed. I enjoyed this tremendously.

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  22. but i do stop and remind it
    that the time will come
    for it to tire


    Maybe.

    Then again, maybe not.

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  23. you have opened much to me here...

    in some circles, we speak of the limitations of our existence as a form of blessing - forcing us to learn and grow (much like the harsh wind does the oak) into a particular and peculiar shape - creating the one beauty of that self.

    chains - here forming, binding, protecting and scaring to form one. yet, your first line reminds us that we aren't always so aware of this.

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  24. Cuban – Yes, I do know you’re a cynic. But cynical and optimistic works just perfectly. I’m optimistic as well, though at times I may not seem to be. I know I write dark, but in my spirit I am positive. I’m happy you liked this, written when my spirit was low, though I still would not let my torment take me down! :-)

    Jenean – Something must be up with the stars or the moon or the heavens, but I have been out of sorts lately. Strange how these things happen, but they do happen.

    Dulce – Painful, yes. Tug-of-war, yes. A lot in common, yes. And Spanish, so close to Italian and French, which I speak perfectly. I understand Spanish very well, but I don’t have the confidence to express myself. Thanks for stopping in, and for the hugs… much needed! :-)

    Mme. DeFarge – What would we do without our torments? In a way, they do make us who we are. I hate mine, but I love them, too. I understand you entirely.

    Jason – You’re always the optimist! What happened? ;-)

    Kim – Limitations are somewhat of a blessing, if we can see them that way. I agree with you entirely. But how to see them that way, especially when you are feeling particularly limited? It’s so difficult to see…

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  25. i think you capture something universal as you begin - the "inept and gnarled wings" we all feel at one time or other - but you start to set yourself apart in the admiration for the strength of torment - and then you shatter it with the last stanza. to me, this is a victory poem - a poem of hope - a light in the darkness. it speaks to me of how owning something in oneself allows one to use it - even things one fights. there is remarkable clarity here - great work!

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  26. You write some beautiful stuff Nevine.

    Elizabeth

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  27. Well now we know the reason it is so clear why everytime you write something, I know...like my cells are singing with the knowing.

    What I love about the writing is the seeing that comes with it. These are such powerful words. I couldn't help think of the trailer to Ironman 2, the Mickey Roark character has these electric whip like arm things.

    I enjoyed the personification of a feeling. I like that concept a lot actually, objectifying it as if it has a mind and a will of its own. I think there is a lot of healing that can come from standing back and seeing them as separate from us. We can react from the unconsciously, or we can see it and acknowlege the, thereby stripping them of their impact. Or at least diminishing their impact.

    Oh, it won't tire of trying tho. Get real. If you find a form of enlightenment that will get you beyond there, let me know. :-)

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  28. What a beautiful Blog you have !! Your poem is really fantastic and soothing !! I will be visiting your blog again soon !!

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  29. Joaquin - Thank you for seeing this piece for what it is. Yes, it is a victory poem. Even in our deepest moments of darkness, we somehow always find a way to fight that darkness, and our demons, and we come out victorious. I can't say this is true for everyone, but it is true for those who try. And I see you are one of us... who try. :-)

    Elizabeth - Welcome, and thank you. I do hope you'll stop in again.

    Cat - "I think there is a lot of healing that can come from standing back and seeing them as separate from us." That's exactly right. Many times, we do tend to see our troubles and feelings as inseparable parts of ourselves. We can't separate them into the different entities that they are. When we are able to do this, though, we can see them more clearly, understand how they operate on us, and work around them. Ain't that the truth? And true... it won't tire of trying. I'm certainly real about that. But I'll always fight back. My cells are singing with your cells... :-)

    Unseen - Welcome, and I'm happy you like my blog. I'm also thrilled you like my poem. I'll be stopping in to visit you soon. Thanks for visiting and for joining me.

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  30. I find your blog through a comment you left on the Naked Soul blog. Your compassion connects you to all of life. This takes you beyond judgment and reminds readers to sense deeper meaning in dreams. You stimulate your ability to sense beyond the self-imposed limitations of 3-dimensional existence. You broadcast a tone or frequency that you can currently handle. I invite you to explore the Dreambuilders Australia Blog. I sense your electromagnetic shifts and ongoing internal changes would resonate with reflections there. You already influence the blending and merging of universal consciousness. Love unconditionally and you sustain more than soul.

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  31. The pleasure is obviously mine Nevine..:)

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  32. I loved this poem, Nevine. Your technique of reversal at the end to reveal a true and beautiful intent was masterfully executed.

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  33. You know a lot about the human psyche!

    Secretia

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  34. smoking hot post.. our armor well said Nevine, well said.... for without it we are once again standing in the garden nude...


    xox

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  35. Popped in from Betty's to say hi! Gorgeous writing.

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  36. hello again, nevine - just dropping by to see what's new - funny you mention being out of sorts - i certainly have too and cannot tell you how many others have said the same thing - yes, a lot of maladjustment with the planets - take care, lady!

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  37. Liara - I thank you tremendously for your visit. And I do appreciate the warm and inviting words. I have visited your blog, and will be visiting often. Thank you for stopping in, joining me, and leaving your trail...

    Nipun - :-)

    Rick - I'm very happy to hear that. It was important for me to reverse that negativity at the end. I'm glad it read true.

    Secretia - ... only from digging deep into my own!!! ;-)

    Reaper - You got that absolutely right!

    Blonde Duck - Wow! What a nice surprise. And thank you for the sweet comment.

    Jenean - I'm finally getting my spinning head back together - Today!!! After about a week of living with that... I'm ready to plunge back into happy reality! Thanks for stopping in, and you take care, too!

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  38. Nevine, I loved this

    my chains are my armor
    and when they are hot
    they are my branding whips


    well done and so amazing...i don't have words...

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  39. is that the chains of incompetence or incapability?? or the impossibility..??

    But i hope along wit u that we can break those chains..if our attitude is right..

    we cant fly...thats an impossiblity for us..like a rooster..but we have found out ways to do the same..right...thats how we too can break the chains of all our limitations.

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  40. Stacey - Thank you; I'm so glad you liked this.

    jiths - To answer your questions, all of the above. Attitude is what it takes, absolutely. We all have the ability to break out of our chains; we just have to be willing to acknowledge that ability. Thanks for stopping in, and for leaving a comment. I appreciate it.

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  41. "a rooster that is trying to fly
    a flurry of inept and gnarled wings
    flapping and slapping
    and going nowhere"

    A few weeks ago, while describing my torment (my present job doesn't suit me or I don't suit to the job, I don't know!) to someone, I compared myself to a goldfish out of its bowl waiting for someone to pick it up and put it back in its bowl!

    I like the image of the rooster too. It's a red rooster, isn't it?

    ***
    Qu'une pluie d'étoiles
    noie nos tourments******

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  42. Cremilde - It seems we were tormented by the same tormentor. My torment was mainly about my job, too. When will I ever be satisfied, and when will you ever be? Will we ever be? Yes, a goldfish works perfectly, too. A red rooster, indeed! :-)

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  43. Many are bound by armour and the torment of circumstance but I see you have used the components to defeat instead of surrender under the means.

    but my torment does not know
    nor will i ever tell it
    my chains are my armor
    and when they are hot
    they are my branding whips

    This is a conquering summation...solid and bold.

    Thanks beautiful for stopping by. Life is hectic right now but for the better :)

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  44. Sharla - Thank you so much for stopping in... I know you are busy with school and life in general, so I do appreciate it a lot. Please don't feel pressured, though... school is more important than anything else. I'm not the type of person who does the "comment for a comment" thing. I'll gladly stop in and visit you, but I don't want you to feel pressured to do the same... though I do love when you visit... still... school school school! I appreciate your lovely words!

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Your thoughts are deeply appreciated.