Friday, April 23, 2010

immaculate obsession


you feel secure in this distance
where we waltz without touching though
you are always here always lingering
on the fringes of my imagination painted
like a fresco upon the shifting sand
like a mirage upon the desert floor
in this imaginary place where
our arms curl in a touchless embrace
and our hands caress transparent auras
you are here and you are not
and if one moment i see you
the moment after i am blind with sorrow
rigid and black wrapping around my
twisted paranoid manic green heart
paranoid and manic and riddled
with drunken cataracts green that
sprout while you are in her arms
and if one moment i see you smiling
the moment after you are enraged
your skin dyed acid and 
i am stricken with rigor mortis and
i grow cold 
though i once was warm
and the glimmer of my hips
oh how it glowed and drew them to me
drew them like only quicksand can draw
those others before you oh how they were drawn
but even then you lurked in the shadows
claiming ownership of my flesh though
your flesh belonged to another
is this why
even while you love my tender breasts
i grow cold
is this why
in my kaleidoscopic eyes
the desert is blue and the sky is gold
why is it we always make love with our eyes closed?
why is it we let the sandstorms stifle our orgasms?
why is it we pull back before the desert rains fall?
i have the memories of your arms your lips your legs
though touchless and transparent
and the imagined fragrance of your sex
i still sleep i still dream of the down on your nape
quivering in the breeze of the desert moon
i tear myself from the sand’s embrace
and sleep on the ceiling of the night
and i drip drop by drop by drop
i have only this touchless dance to devour
all day all night all day all night
only this immaculate dream on which to feed
and i grow smaller and thinner
while i await the closing of the distance
the opening of your fastened eyes

43 comments:

  1. You really get down to the truth of things don't you? Your honesty and comfort with any emotion are unbelievable. I often wonder what's true and what's not. How can anyone know all the issues so intimately? You really dazzle, Nevine. Your imagination, your writing. You dazzle.

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  2. I am speechless. I honestly don't know what to say. this is just amazng.

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  3. dearest nevine - how truly wonderful to be back here after such a time gone - here among your beautiful word garden where grows love and passion and light and darkness and sorrow, all intermingled so beautifully - i could not wait to play catch up with your posts and have sat for some time now reading and re-reading -

    when i read your april 8 post i was literally taken aback as it describes the death day before yesterday of a dear friend, chris white, who, as he was walking back to his office on a sunny afternoon, was struck and killed by a hit-run - in any event, your post was just quite prophetic in terms of chris' death - and beautifully done, as always -

    sorry to have digressed - i have so missed your words, nevine, and it is wonderful to be back among them - and your spirit!

    thank you for all your kind words at my places, dear lady!

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  4. That is powerful, Nevine!
    I loved this sad but lovely poem. It pulled on my memories.
    The thing I like about-is the perfect way that you use/choose the right words in your writing..I was captured under the spell of your poem.
    hugs
    Betty

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  5. all your pieces bring such imagery to me...this one brought vivid image of vaampires dancing in the night, lnot touching, almost like a formal dance....love it...brilliant.

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  6. Once again, you have created a wonderful, magical poem...the words are passionate, the imagery strong, it is ever so sensual and mysterious. A magnificent piece of Art, Nevine, it truly is.

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  7. What I took from this one is probably not what you were writing about but it meant a lot to me personally. It had this sense of wanting and yearning but never quite being able to close the distance. I can't explain it well but I just want you to know, this was remarkable.

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  8. sensual sadness, sensual redemption... dreams and deliriums you tell us about so wisely, dear friend
    I loved this!

    Dulce

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  9. Bard – Thank you, Sir!

    Nancy – I do try to get to the heart of the matter, yes, though I sometimes digress. And trust me, sometimes I push my own comfort level, though with this piece, I didn’t really feel like I had to do that. As for knowing the issues, I just watch people and life avidly. Maybe I’m nosy, or just curious, or maybe they’re both one and the same. Whatever it is, I have a lust for life, and every happening is worth its weight in gold.

    Lou – That’s okay. I’m thrilled you left your thoughts, even if they were wordless… :-)

    Turquoise – Thank you. I appreciate that.

    Jenean – It’s good to see you back here at Dreams. And I’m so very sorry about the loss of your friend. How sad it is when death is untimely, though I can’t imagine that the loss of any life can be called timely. I actually wrote “beauty’s antithesis” because I was right there behind a man who was killed in his car, right behind him at the traffic light. I was incredulous; couldn’t believe my eyes. And I think writing about it helped a little bit, though the images will haunt me forever. It was unbelievable, absolutely!

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  10. Betty – You are always so sweet, and I appreciate your kindness. I’m so glad you keep coming back to read, and I appreciate your friendship a great deal.

    Steven – Hey, if you saw vampire images here, then go for it, Steven! Whatever appeals to your imagination! ;-)

    Sam – I am so humbled by your sweet words. A piece of art, I never imagined it to be. But thank you for calling it so. I appreciate your thoughts, and your presence.

    Eva – I can’t even begin to tell you what this is really about, myself. There are so many metaphors for other realities that I just couldn’t find the right words to describe. Sometimes other images and thoughts help bring our minds some clarity. So, I entirely know what you mean when you say you can’t explain it well, and I’m happy this meant something to you on a personal level.

    Dulce – Thank you, I’m so happy you liked it, Sweetest. :-)

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  11. I have to echo Eva's sentiments on this piece. It really hit home for me in ways that are hard to describe.

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  12. Gavin - A curious moment of synchronicity. It seems you were here just as I was on your blog. And I can understand why this would hit home in ways hard to describe. Sometimes we can't find the right words to even describe ourselves, our experiences. So we borrow images and words... Odd lot we are! Take care, Gavin.

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  13. This poem burns a fiery red. Absolutely fantastic. I'm going to reread it a few times.

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  14. "We waltz without touching." Oh, what an excellent picture to set up this tale, Nevine, and I loved that you came back to it near the end. I agree with Sam Liu's comment - you truly are an artist, painting with words. Thank you!

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  15. I believe the fact that much of existence is meaningfully related (synchronicity) and what I used to call miracle is the same as coincidence.

    One must travel far...far, to discover a writing and imagination combination as yours. So tastefully you bring out the essence of "stuff"...

    --steveroni

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  16. Dear Nevine:

    I see the desert in you surface in the images. I am so quite familiar with this situation where a very subtle distance makes the whole relationship distanced. But whatever I have seen does not enable words to fashion themselves so lucidly.

    Nevine, your use of words is just lovely. Words must be glad to be imprisoned by your sentences and emotions must be happy to be captured by your thoughts :)

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  17. I'm afraid that it describe my feelings all too well right now. Rather too close to the bone for comfort, but it is reassuring in some ways to be able to read about how I feel.

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  18. I join the ranks of the speechless... speechless in the wake of so much raw passion poured out like blood from cut artery, literally panting... You are magic Nevine, pure magic, I think somewhere in an ancient Egyptian antiquities shop in a back street of Cairo you must have found a teapot with a djini in it who you conjure up to serve as muse, connecting you into the raw energy sources at the heart of the universe, in the heart of humanity, in the heart of art... channelled through your musical words which take on all of that power, and leave us.... SPEECHLESS !

    Speechless, yes, but who could not help but fall in love with your writing ?

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  19. Mark - Hey, welcome! You can reread as many times as you like. I'm happy you enjoyed it. I know you're into the darker writing. And trust me, it can get pretty dark around here. And then sometimes I like to lighten things up. And then sometimes I just shoot the breeze... whatever comes to my head. I hope you enjoy the ride!

    ConTemplate - And thank you! Without all the encouragement I get from you and my other readers, I don't know if I'd keep doing this or not. Maybe I would... just privately, like I used to. This is loads more fun. I'm humbled by your "artist" comment, and by Sam's as well. You guys are great!

    Steve - Oh, and coincidence is Providence. I think we've had that discussion before, yeah? And it's always an interesting discussion. And you're always an interesting man... and unpredictable. And that keeps things just wild! Thanks for always boosting my ego, Steveroni. You really rock!

    Susan - As far as I'm concerned, your comment, especially your last sentence, was poetry. Sometimes the words are just imprisoned in my gut, and they have to get out. Some people paint, some dance, some sing, some scream... and I write. I have no other way. Thank you for always sharing your thoughts, Susan. It means the world to me to know I am understood. I hope you're enjoying a fine time in Ireland! :-)

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  20. Mme. DeFarge - Sometimes when we read about something we are feeling, it helps things fall into perspective. I hope you are well...

    Owen - I am speechless by your lovely speech. How can one who is speechless praise so eloquently? If I am magic it is only because people like you make me feel that way. You might think this funny, but I did find an old teapot, years ago, in a back alley of the Khan El Khalili bazaar in Cairo. It was almost calling out to me, almost screaming for me to own it. I bought it, brought it home and sat in on my desk, where I sit and write for hours. And it has not left my desk since then. We have moved several times, but every time I settle in a new home, one of the first things I do is set that teapot out on my desk. I don't know if it has a djinni in it or not, and I've never seen the top fly off so that demon could escape. But I rub my teapot and whisper to it, and she sits there and watches me while I scribble. So, there you go! Thank you, Owen. You are such a shining light. Have I told you that before? And hey, I'll be by soon to catch up with you...

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  21. Wait, let me just catch my breath...

    Wow! Yet again you raised the bar. The vivid images of imagining the down on his neck grabbed me. Then the idea of love across time and distance and even minds was incredible and so universal.

    My favourite lines were the three lines in italics starting: "Why is it we always make love with our eyes closed..."

    Gorgeous stuff.

    Jai

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  22. 'why is it we always make love with our eyes closed?
    why is it we let the sandstorms stifle our orgasms?
    why is it we pull back before the desert rains fall?'

    Why did you write that part in italics? Answer not, for it is a rhetorical question. Because you KNEW you had nailed it. You knew that you had caught us, trapped us in your ever-mesmerising web of dreams and visions. God, I needed that, did I need that! Many thanks. I'm back and you've never left.

    Greetings from London.

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  23. it's a very dense and atmospheric piece, well done! Good show!

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  24. wonderful poem, very nice compositions.. all the best..

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  25. You compose such vivid, sensual, lyrical images. You have a presence in your poetry.

    Have you thought of doing prose? There is a BODY LANGUAGE blogfest going on now. You have two characters conduct a conversation without dialogue. I think you could do a moving selection.

    Here's the link if you're interested :

    http://thelabotomyofawriter.blogspot.com/2010/04/announcing-body-language-blogfest.html

    May unexpected truths illuminate the dark corners of your imagination this weekend, Roland

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  26. Often I find difficult to comment your poems because they go straight to my heart...no "negotiations" from the mind...

    Beautiful
    Love&Rainbow

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  27. First this amazing piece of art is driving
    me insance. Will haunt me!
    And another poem so metaphysical, yet I felt
    her in the room with me when I read her
    last night. I've just "come off" a relationship
    where we completely based in the spiritual.
    Two voices, poems and dreams forming us.
    Deeper than most physical relationships I've
    had. This poem for me speaks to meeting someone
    on that spiritual place {and of course the
    passion and desire are intense]

    Surely you are a prophet, Nevine.

    {P.S. Your dialogue will be up this week.}

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  28. Jonas – Glad it did something for you!

    Jai – Thanks for sharing your favorite lines. And as always, Jai, you got it. A love that trespasses the senses and the here-and-now is what I was shooting for, and it sounds like that came through. I’m always overjoyed when I know that it clicked for someone. You’ve made my day!

    Cuban – It’s great that you’re back, safely and soundly. What a harrowing last couple of days that must have been for you. I can only imagine… not knowing when we will be able to return to our normal lives. And your rhetorical question shows that you do understand where I was coming from. But then, you always do, Cuban. You’re such a careful reader, and I appreciate that so tremendously!

    Ee Leen Lee – Thank you.

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  29. Arc Lamp – And thanks to you, too.

    Roland – I actually write prose, too. And thank you for sharing that link; it will be interesting to check it out. And thanks also for the high praise… always appreciated!

    Lorenza – I love that expression you used – “no negotiations from the mind”. That’s really ingenious. And thank you for your always kind words, Lorenza. Love and Rainbows back to you, my dear.

    Cynthia – Spiritual relationships tend to exist at a higher level. They do transcend the physical and mental, by vast margins. And I’m so pleased that this poem touched you personally, and that you were able to relate to it. On another note, I can’t thank you enough for the wonderful thing you’re doing. I look forward to our dialogue being posted. Thanks again, Cynthia.

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  30. OFF topic: Nev, I KNEW you knew--grin! How WELL many of us--well, a few of us--"know" one another with nothing between us but some written words in space. I consider it a gift of major proportion. You are "something else" girl.

    Keep writing and I'll for sure keep reading. (Now you also know I wanted to "make an amend" to you for the deception attempt!!OK?

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  31. Steveroni, I didn't take it as a deception attempt at all. I took it as Steveroni loving his blogging so much he just couldn't quit. And maybe he wanted to try his hand at something a little different. And you did, and I loved it. But inside that 34 year-old girl's spirit was the spirit of Steveroni that I just KNOW. Think me weird, but I "feel" people, even when I've never met them. And I especially feel you because you are who you are, undecorated. You put yourself out there, and we all get to know your true self. No amends necessary, Steveroni. None necessary at all. You know what, though? I do wish you'd kept that blog, and just posted a little something there with that alter ego every once in a while. But, you have to feel comfortable with what you're doing, too. I just wanted you to know I did enjoy the ride, those few days. In a way, it was as if you'd never left... :-)

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  32. Nevine, this is a piece that deserves to be studied - you've given us so much to think about. It's beautiful and passionate, while at the same time terribly sad. Fantastic!

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  33. I have a question that you may have answered at some point and I missed your answer. Where do you get these amazing pieces of art that you post with your poems? I'm always blown away by them.

    Jai

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  34. the angst in this is overwhelming... intoxicating.

    what you describe is a level of pain and desire strong enough to be speaking of the eternal artist and illusive muse... such love is never satiated.

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  35. Nev- cool. wonder if we hide ourselves or the other. I'm all for lights on eyes open. Really great rhythm again and the subject keeps drawing. ~rick

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  36. Felicitas - Thank you for your very nice words. I tried to capture a lot of emotion, here, and at some points I was wondering if it was overkill.

    Jai - I just do a Bing search using keywords related to what I'm talking about. I click on "Images" and I write in a keyword and then write "Art". I always get so many choices, and then it's up to me to decide which is the most appropriate.

    Kim - Oh, you get to the heart of the matter in abstract ways, Kim. You are quite the dynamic reader. I really like your take on this. I hadn't thought of this piece as being about the relationship between artist and muse, but you are ever creative and imaginative. Thanks for sharing that thought, Kim!

    Rick - I think we hide a little of both. It doesn't work for us any other way. I'm all for the eyes open, too. No point wallowing in denial and lies. Thanks, Rick!

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  37. outta my way, i need a cold shower! :O lol

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  38. He he he... it was that hot?!?! ;-)

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  39. This was pure bliss reading it even though there's some sadness. I have felt this way before and to have you describe it so well makes me feel alive. Lovely writing Nevine~

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  40. Thank you for leaving your thoughts, Wild Rose. I'm happy you enjoyed it... despite the sadness.

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Your thoughts are deeply appreciated.