Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Tokens of Awakening

I Am Earth by unknown artist

On this spring evening I am in my garden,
Remembering spring in that other garden
            that used to be mine.
Did I think it would last forever,
All the time that was, once upon a time?
I know it no longer exists for me.
I know Someone has replaced me.
But do I stop existing… simply so?
That soil bears tokens of my onetime presence,
Fallen hairs and nail clippings and
Champagne corks and lost buttons.
It is not by Serendipity’s Hand that
            these tokens are there,
But by the purposeful action of my hands,
And this while I contemplated the open sky
Of a single season that was Summer
And Autumn and Winter and Spring.

I opened up the earth for tender roots –
            Lemon and Daffodil and Lavender and Rose.
I opened up the earth for these, My Tokens.
I was Mistress, Master, Creator Without Rival.
I opened up the earth and the earth I opened
            no longer had a past.
And I know... ten years from now, someone
Will pick a lemon from this tree. Someone...
Or Someone Else… Someone That Matters…
Or Someone That Does Not Matter.
The trees and the flowers will survive my absence.
They have, already.
They have grown, and they have changed –
            placed in the earth by my hands,
            now firmly rooted in the ground.

And I am where I am.

I thought I knew myself, back then.
I thought I knew that image
            reflected in my glass door.
And the bushes and the flowers
And the grass and the sky –
            I thought I knew them, too.
I pretended I was setting
            each monument –
            each moment –
                       in stone.
But even stone erodes and crumbles
And becomes the old within the new.

i may blindfold the bushes
            but they will still find me
i may blindfold the flowers
            but they will still find me
i may blindfold the grasses
            but they will still find me
i may blindfold the skies
            but they will still find me

Is it my agitation that gives me away?
My delirious air of insecurity?
The devotion in my clamoring eyes?
The beating of my persistent heart?
Is it my cry, stifled and scarred?
Is it my ghost, silent and serene?
Move aside, she whispers quietly, My Ghost.
Move that I may see you better.

We have beautiful hands that with their beauty
Birth beauty in Beauty’s Womb.
I stand in the presence of thoughts
            filled with other meanings.
And I smile – because it is good to smile.
The soft and balmy air of dusk kisses my face
And tells me it comes for me –
            among all others it comes for Me.
And the labyrinthine smell of the breeze tells me
That the hour when I am most alone is at hand.

Can I encapsulate this moment
            in words?
            in feelings?
            in blossoms?
Can I describe it
            to Someone?
            to My Self?
            to My Ghost?

Shall I go inside, now?
But to linger with Earth... 
                                       is so divine.

I am neither refreshed, nor dampened,
            But rather, awakened,
By this Awakening.

48 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful poem Nevine..
    Thank you.
    Costas

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  2. Nevine, your beautiful, passionate poem was enough to spread a good amount of spring, flowers, scents, and emotions in my day!
    It also pulled on memories of a lost love.
    I can relate to the first part of your poem.
    It actually sent a shiver down my spine...as every great poem does.
    I've always been in awe of your writing.

    In addition to that, I have to admit that your comments on my recent post were a whole
    poem!!And so beautiful one!
    Thank you, my friend!:o)
    Big hugs!
    Betty xx

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  3. ahhh... Nevine , this is a wonderful way to express this "section" of life .
    for some reason , made me remenber some paintings i've made and aren't with me anymore .

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  4. 'Of a single season that was Summer
    And Autumn and Winter and Spring.'

    We had a day like that yesterday. :-)

    Joking aside, it's one of your more reflective pieces. It points at a moment in your life when you've stopped, sat down had a chat with yourself and assessed what you've done and how far you've become as a person. For instance:

    'I thought I knew myself, back then.
    I thought I knew that image
    reflected in my glass door.
    And the bushes and the flowers
    And the grass and the sky –
    I thought I knew them, too.
    I pretended I was setting
    each monument –
    each moment –
    in stone.
    But even stone erodes and crumbles
    And becomes the old within the new.'

    It rings many bells with me. Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

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  5. But do I stop existing… simply so?.....these are emotions I know all to well............as always my friend, your words have captivated my soul.

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  6. little beats communing with mother earth...

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  7. You express so well your connection with yourself sometimes so difficult to withhold, not not blindfold... yet there it is and remains... so good you are eventually aware of that awakening... We all have to.. or get rid of ourselves... So many ways to do so, by the way!

    Brilliant, My Dear Queen, As always

    Dulce

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  8. You have indeed encapsulated this moment in words. A splendid wedding of time, emotions and self.

    I could relate to every intended emotional outpour and I marvel at your expression, as always.

    Joy and peace,
    Susan

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  9. Once again your beautiful hands - and mind, and spirit - have birthed a beautiful piece. So appropriate for a beautiful Spring day. Thank you.

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  10. This piece reminds me of a magical forest, where the lost and those searching find themselves, and the questions you ask enrich the prose, the eluding that we are the beauty of the Earth, but too often it lives outside of ourselves, in those places not easily seen.
    Great penning, Nevine.

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  11. I love this (and am moved to tears). Perhaps in recognition of a part of myself. Wonderful and beautiful, Nevine.

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  12. Heady stuff. Lovely. Profound. Obscure, and yet, I can relate. You're like that dancer behind the veil - covered, yet tantalizing glimpses ....

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  13. The longing to belong, the pain of disconnection. To have made a difference to the places where we lived and loved.

    "They have grown, and they have changed –
    placed in the earth by my hands,
    now firmly rooted in the ground."

    Unearthly writing indeed.

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  14. Human existence is fleeting, and the trees that our hands plant today will continue to grow long after we have ceased to be - such is life. You have wonderfully captured this in your beautiful poem, you have left your earthly body and with Plato's dualism you have considered what it is to be alive. This poem sings with existentialism, I am in awe, Nevine, I truly, truly am.

    Your work never fails to move me, and this has to be one my most favourite posts of yours.

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  15. Nevine, tes vers sont comme des ramifications et branchages du passé et du présent qui s'entremêlent inlassablement et nous emportent dans un espace qui n'appartient ni complètement au réel ni tout-à-fait à la fantasmagorie. C'est superbe, une fois de plus.
    On ne peut pas en effet encapsuler un moment, mais tu as l'art de les saisir et de les faire revivre dans des dimensions multidirectionnelles entre espace et temps, vie intérieure (innermind) et incarnation terrestre. Merci.
    Gros bisous Nevine, et porte-toi bien.
    Marie

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  16. such magnificence here, as always - and as always words that take us on that inner journey with you but to places we all already know only too well - oh, and to encapsulate that moment!!! be still my heart, be still!!! beautiful, nevine, totally beautiful!

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  17. Oh! Nevine! What is there left for me but to taste these words, and savor them again, and again. Savor, and enjoy!

    "But even stone erodes and crumbles
    And becomes the old within the new."

    Your whole piece is filled with truths of life...

    Thank YOU!

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  18. Costas – And thank you very much!

    Bard – I ditto my thanks… :-)

    Betty – You are too sweet for words. I’m happy to know this piece gave you some joy, even with the memories of lost love… I think all memories are beautiful! And I couldn’t help but drool at those photos you posted. My minded just started spinning…

    Caio – But your paintings are still alive, Caio. Even when things we created are no longer “ours” they still belong to us in a very special way, because they carry our spirit. And we live forever in our creation!

    Cuban – I know London weather only too well! And yes, this was a moment of reflection for me. I have those often. And this one I truly had while I was sitting outside looking at my flowers and trees, and remembering my older flowers and trees. The thoughts just washed over me, and the words came tumbling out. Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

    Steven – You are ever gracious.

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  19. LW – I’m not a tree hugger or anything like that, but I do have my moments with Mother Earth. Oh, yes!

    Dulce – Yes, we do all have to become aware of our own awakening, and our own Self. Sometimes I forget to “stop and smell the flowers” as the cliché says. But when I do stop, I always discover a little something new about myself… something I never knew before. It’s an amazing process, and I always feel reborn! Thank you, Sweetest!

    Susan – I’m so glad you could relate. It’s nice to know one is not alone in going through these thought processes. But I do think we all sometimes sit down and reflect with ourselves. It just takes one small trigger to set us afloat…

    ConTemplate – A beautiful comment, using the word “beautiful”. Thank you for that. I got lost in that word a couple of days ago, and I’m still floating inside it…

    Erin – I love how you read between the lines. We truly are the beauty of the earth, though we easily forget that… easily, and too soon.

    Deb – And I am moved by your tears. Thank you for sharing that recognition of yourself in this piece. It means a lot to me.

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  20. Lou – Relate… ah… I love knowing I’m not alone. Thank you for relating and for sharing. And a dancer behind a veil… Once upon a time, I truly did want to be one of those.

    Martin – “The longing to belong, the pain of disconnection.” That was what it meant for me. We go to places in life… both literal and figurative… and when we must go, we so want to leave our imprint. We so crave to be remembered.

    Sam – Your depth of examining my writing is astonishing. I am truly flattered by it, and I am also truly amazed. Thank you for being such a fine reader. I so enjoy having you around.

    Marie – La profondeur de tes mots me surprend. Je sais que tu comprends bien la vie intérieure que tu décris. Cette vie fait grand part de moi, chaque jour, chaque minute. Je suis contente de savoir que je suis pas seule, ici. Merci, comme toujours, pour ta gentillesse, Marie… Et aussi pour ta présence.

    Jenean – Oh, I do know you to be familiar with the inner journey, too. It is truly elevating to know oneself. When we take the time, we discover such things about ourselves… Why would we not? Thank you, Jenean, for your always beautiful comments!

    Steve – And thank you for your kindness and your sweet words. I love to see your little violin in my comment space. Your presence makes me just beam!

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  21. Reading this was like taking a mental journey through life. Maybe it was more of a spiritual journey. Some of your words really brought tears to my eyes. The thoughts are so real. They're thoughts I have often. And I felt like going outside and just digging my hands into the earth. You have a way that is yours alone. Love reading you, always.

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  22. To be away for such a long time and to miss your brilliant self-expression...Oh, truly this was beautiful. I loved it for many reasons but they are escaping me at this moment.

    I must come again to catch up and drink it all in.

    Beautiful Nevine!
    ...and I will be visiting Cynthia's very soon to read your interview. I can't wait!

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  23. Nevine, with your poetry one is invariably seduced into a poignant awareness of layers below the surface. While in that awareness, a hypnotic one, I may add, there is a fullness of feeling where life remains mystery [But do I stop existing… simply so?] and yet banal [Fallen hairs and nail clippings and Champagne corks and lost buttons.] It is quite an extraordinary journey you take us on.

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  24. Dear Nevine,
    I have been reading your words and watching your pictures in total awe maybe for some 5 months now and I am rendered totally speechless from all your creations!

    I also love the comments from your friends and I cannot add to their wit and praises.

    So, from this little, silent corner, let me send you a note of ammiration and gratitude since you let us into your amazing universe and share with us all that you are!

    I may not always comment because I cannot say anything other than WOW and OH but I feel your words in the bottom of my heart and my eyes open wide as I read.

    More than once I have felt my stomach crunch and my breath disappear at one line only to reappear three paragragraphs later, full of laughter or tears, or remorse, or faith, or whatever it is that you want to do with me in any of your treks.

    And I check two or three days later, carying a cane to climb and ready to switch it for a broom to fly or a birch stick if it seems better fit for the voyage in view.

    Still I am never prepared for your journeys!
    So, maybe once in a while you may recieve a toast and a hug from Mexico, with lots of love from, Adriana - your amiga for the taking

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  25. This ideas within this poem brought on a mysterious appreciation for the joys of working the earth. The idea of putting down roots, creating growth, creating beauty. These lines were so stunning:

    "We have beautiful hands that with their beauty
    Birth beauty in Beauty’s Womb."

    At the same time there's a sense of time moving on, eroding that beauty, disconnecting us from our own creation.

    Jai

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  26. T. & R. MacGregor - Thank you.

    Nancy - I think there's always a bit of the spiritual, the mental, and the physical in everything we create. We put ourselves into what we do, and when that happens, the end result is always a testament to us. Whether we're tilling the earth or tilling our hearts, we are putting ourselves inside it. I so appreciate your sharing your thoughts with me... those also a testament to how we receive. Thank you so much.

    Calli - It's nice to see you around here! And I'll take your speechlessness with a big smile! Thanks for stopping in, Calli, and for leaving such sweet words!

    Mark - ;-)

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  27. Judy - You are quite the person to break things down to the bare bones and analyze them. Have I told you before that you're a careful reader? And have I told you how much I appreciate that? Sometimes we write and wonder if everyone will "get it". And it's wonderful to know that a few truly do. You are one of my most careful readers, Judy. And that's because you are such a talented writer, too.

    Adriana - I am absolutely floored by your sweetness and kindness. Your comment has left me breathless... really. It's nice to know that there is someone out there who is reading what we write, and understanding what it is we mean to say. How you describe your emotional reaction to my writing is... well, very pumping to my ego ;-) but at the same time humbling. That I am able to move you with my words makes me feel like I'm on cloud 9. I so appreciate your stopping in and leaving your thoughts. And five months? Wow! I never would've known! Thank you so much for letting me know you're there and reading and enjoying. Your visits and your toasts and hugs... and your friendship... are all welcome. Hugs back to you, and don't be shy to stop in every once in a while!

    Jai - Isn't it true? We create something, we love it, nourish it, nurture it, and then we have to release it and move on. We always want to leave our mark, our signature, but still, we do have to let things go. It's a frightening feeling when we have to do this, but it is truly inevitable.

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  28. the beauty of it: she'll take all your stress away, dissipate it, and replace it with total calm :)

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  29. Inevitable, yes, that's exactly the right word.

    Jai

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  30. It is a lovely poem, full of rich imagery and meaning, fab as always.

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  31. Hi Nevine,

    i just visited the blog of Cynthia where i read the wonderful dialogue between the two of you. I am a silent reader here (thought i was already a follower)but this time i write some words to thank you, for all your wonderful poems that brings me to delicious, strange and yet familiar places.
    Tnx again, sweet greetz!

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  32. LW - My thoughts exactly! ;-)

    Jai - We agree!

    Mme. DeFarge - Thank you.

    Momo Luna - Hello, and welcome! I'm always pleasantly surprised when silent readers break the silence and share their thoughts. But I also understand that sometimes we just like to read and guard our thoughts to ourselves. Either way, I do appreciate your stopping in and joining me. I'm also very happy you decided to leave your trail. Thank you for doing that. And I hope you enjoy your visits here.

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  33. In tender homage
    I see you shining
    A lighthouse beacon
    On the Maine shore
    In one of those thick fogs
    They get there
    You come shining
    And keep us
    From washing up
    On the jagged rocks
    Of indifference
    Your lantern burns
    With unearthly light...

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  34. Owen - You baffle me with your kindness. These little poems you leave here... they're gems, as are you! I really don't know what to say, Owen. You are too sweet for words.

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  35. Nevine,

    i came a few times to read this post....
    i could feel
    the becoming and the unbecoming,
    the anguish and the hope,
    Being - and the possibilities of vanishing
    As well as the glory there can be in such instances of an intimate solitude....

    The mutations through which we metamorphose. Sometimes painfully.

    But what i love most is about keeping track all along for one to remember to be ' a light unto oneself '.

    Whatever - the emanations of our inner self offers us they sure do offer us enough comapssion to embrace the sublime.

    Sometimes we have the tendencies to put this aside because our sufferings overbears.....but it is 'here' our life mirrors are as well!!

    Your writing brings to me this reminder through 'Nevine's third eye'.... so rich with reflections and understanding of things in which i'd willingly immerse.
    Thankyou.....

    love
    Col.

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  36. please excuse my dyslexic fingers....i often type the most important words in disorder....hmmm i think its time i saw a Psy ;-)Lol!

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  37. This was breathtakingly beautiful. The poem's voice is crystal clear and eloquent. Emotional. Sensual. Gorgeous!

    I left you an award today on my blog:)

    Have a wonderful weekend!

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  38. your words here took me...

    to a garden
    to a faded memory of relationship lost
    to an inner journey searching for myself
    to a garden planted in the soil of dreams
    to a snaring forest
    to a mirror of souls


    and more places... Thank you.

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  39. The answer to your question is 'El Mar de Jade' (The Jade Sea). It was a present from one of my brothers in law and his partner. I didn't like it at all. Thanks for your comments on my latest post. I always appreciate them.

    Greetings from London.

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  40. happy mothers' day to all the moms out there :)

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  41. COL - You write with a true understanding, always, of my intent. Is it because you, also, have that "Third Eye" that allows us to see the subtleties that we would otherwise miss? I think so, COL. And no, you don't need to see any "professionals" for dyslexic fingers. Those fingers scribble the truth of a soul. Thank you, my very precious friend. :-)

    Nicole - Thank you for the sweet words, and also for the award. I'm really speechless. I hope your weekend was a blast!

    Kim - And thank you for sharing with me the pleasures of those memories... every one of them sweet... even the lost relationship.

    Cuban - Thank you for sharing that. Now I'm curious what it was about. I'll have to google it.

    LW - And I echo your wishes. I'm not a mom, myself. But I do appreciate motherhood, even if only from the daughter's point of view. ;-)

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  42. That was so nice.
    Echoing seasons everywhere in ur words..
    I could relate to most of the points.
    I was moving somewhere with ur words..:)
    I felt that all these emotions were mine.

    Lovely work Nevine.

    Cheers

    Nuts

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  43. Nipun - Thank you, as always, for your very sweet and kind words. You are always generous with your praise, and I truly appreciate that. :-)

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  44. A very moving poem! It made me think of my garden when I was a kid!
    And even if the people who bought it from my parents uprooted the trees and the flowers to build a very large house, I know now that there are still 'vestiges' of me somewhere 'enfoui' in the earth beneath the house;-)

    ***
    Gros bisous et un très bon weekend*******

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  45. Cremilde, merci my dear for sharing memories from your childhood. And isn't it so true how we leave our mark, or at least hope we do? I think that even if others don't realize we used to be there, we know that nature will always remember us. I wish you a lovely weekend as well, Cremilde. Gros bisous!!!

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Your thoughts are deeply appreciated.