Monday, May 10, 2010

faithless


first she hears the clack
 of his shoes
on the porch his legs wild in their
haste
 to fling themselves around her
then the rusty doorknob screeches

and twists and he rushes inside so
breathless
with wanting with waiting he has
nothing in his pockets dry hunger
in his stomach undressed he leans
over her
touching arms and waist and
back he kisses her in the wrong places

he’d seen her at a general store
staring at an old woman who
prayed for invisible graces
her mouth open and silent
her tongue dry as the sahara

now she hears every sound desire
sighing from dustwebs light touching
gossamer curtains rain gliding from
the slanted rooftop in winding silver
threads – she feels helpless – hands
bound above her head he sees her wet
thirst flow between her breasts he kisses
their ivory softness they taste of famine
he thinks it is her dreams that keep her
yearning she thinks it is his face that is
hard to read or maybe it is her ineptness
at discreetly perceiving indiscretion

but there on her wide bed in her
shadowed room she floats above
her own body and his and finds
that she – always coldly faithless –
believes with zealous ardor in sin

48 comments:

  1. ur lovely lines take us away from ourselves, beyond physical passion and become eternal...
    do drop by my blog - you haven't for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nevine, the construct of this, how the lines are disjointed in their flow but yet work so well - this has me wanting to read again and again to pull it together as though my reading were stiches. I really like this. I am struck off kilter though, trying to understand (as I should, I think) by "he kisses her in the wrong places". This is passionate, to be sure, but terribly complicated, passion which is usually wet, equated with the desert. Huh.

    I'll be back to read this one again.

    xo
    erin

    ReplyDelete
  3. I read this and read again ... in reading, I hear echoes, in my mind, of a time. long ago ... long, long ago ... back when passion was fresh, new, driving.

    I'm jealous of that young man - and irritated that he never did enough.

    ReplyDelete
  4. How beautifully you describe memorable love moments, Nevine. Desperation, lust, passion and the game of love create such powerful images!
    ..her tongue dry as the Sahara...how awesome!
    Big hugs!
    Betty xx

    P.S.A bunch of Thanks for your comments and support, my friend :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tow bodies
    So near
    Two distant souls..

    So many of the sort.

    If I say this is BEAUTIFUL... I'd lie...rather simple I'd be in my trying to give you an opinion of what such a piece of work is... So while I find the suitable adjective... give me a while.

    Lots of love Sweet Queen

    ReplyDelete
  6. I feel sad for her. I think she has never met love in it's entirety; pleasure and passion, she has seen but lust and love entangled, she has not felt.

    Is it so . . .

    I loved the way you always alternate realities and swing back and forth. We get the complete picture and nothing seems lost except for our wonder!!!

    Joy always,
    Susan

    ReplyDelete
  7. This reminds me of a Katy Perry song I posted yesterday on my life my thoughts.

    beautifully done my friend, as always transporting

    ReplyDelete
  8. You have the unique talent at putting the words together, and taking us along with you, in your dreams, transfer us to your world.
    One moment from the dry Sahara of our existence you take us to the green beautiful oasis of your heart.
    Costas

    ReplyDelete
  9. bravo! i like this slightly more condensed style.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love the contrasting pictures of anticipation you have painted here, Nevine - and I love that you have left much to our imagination.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nevine, this is haunting, terrifying... magnificently written. The scene is blindingly powerful, achieved by your unique and breathtaking descriptive abilities - you can suffuse so much meaning and depth, I envy your skill. I get a sense of existentialism from this poem too, and I think it's beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  12. again , passion and wonderful way to handle with words leading me to mental levels that make me forget all around .
    fantastic Nevine .
    thank you .

    ReplyDelete
  13. Deliciously sinful... left me shivering

    (yet concerned for them... was there any love in it ? or is love an unnecessary abstraction in such cases ?)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Smita – Thank you for the high praise. As always, it is appreciated. I’ll be by soon, Smita.

    Erin – I love how you described your reading as “stitches”. And sometimes that’s how disjointed my own thoughts are. I sat down to write this with an unfocused mind, and after I was done I read it and thought, “Oh, what a mess! Now I have to make it all flow.” But I decided to love my creation as it was born… for what it is. What did I mean by “he kisses her in the wrong places”? He was kissing her in all the places that mattered to him, in his frenzy, and he wasn’t mindful of her pleasure… or her need. And the passion equated with the desert… is simply her thirst, her hunger, her need for more… perhaps… emotion or intimacy vs. plain and simple lust?

    Lou – And I’m just as irritated as you are. Maybe, if he had bothered to dig deeper inside her, he would’ve uncovered a hidden gem. But he had his own agenda, too. Don’t we all? And you mentioned new passion… it is always instinctive and filled with that lustre we love and crave. But then that lustre wears away with time. I think he just wanted the body and not what was underneath… Passion with no strings… makes life easier. Lou, your comment sent my mind spinning.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Betty – “The game of love” – yes. The physical game and the spiritual one, too. They make for two different types of love altogether. And hey, you’re always welcome. You know I love to come over to your place and refresh myself with the beauty you share. Thank you, Betty.

    Dulce – Two distant souls is exactly right! And you don’t have to try and find a suitable adjective, Sweetest; maybe it shouldn’t even be “adjectified”. Your effort has already put a smile inside my heart. Lots of love back to you. :-)

    Susan – I alternated realities because my mind was not square on how I wanted to convey my thoughts before I actually sat down to write this piece. My own head was swinging back and forth, erratically, as I wrote this. And like I mentioned to Erin, though I had my doubts about its “beauty” after it was written, I wanted to keep that brokenness that was my mind. Sometimes the mystery, when it is unraveled, is not quite as thrilling as we expected it to be. Better to leave the wonder intact, the mystery unsolved, the confusion untouched. Am I confusing you, now? ;-) And about the love… actually, that’s what she’s searching for… He reads her expression as “Poor her, she wants love and she’ll never get it.” And she simply can’t read his face at all because he’s on his mission and executing it. And she lies to herself and tells herself that maybe sleeping with this man she doesn’t know can come in its own classification, so she calls it “sin” and pretends she’s reveling in it. But Susan, that’s just what my mind was thinking. Poetry is best enjoyed when we let it touch us “untouched”. I hope I didn’t muddy your thoughts with mine.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Steven – Thank you for your always “transporting” comments, dear Steven. You know they make me grin from ear to ear.

    Costas – I’m so glad you’re along for the ride. And I’m happy you’re enjoying the stop in the oasis… so beautifully expressed, Costas. Thank you.

    Gerry – Yes, I know you enjoy the more “condensed” poetry, as you call it. ;-)

    ConTemplate – I felt like it was best to leave something to the reader’s imagination in this piece. There is a lot going on and I didn’t want to write an entire story with it. At the same time, the characters were sharp in my mind, but I wanted to blur them for the reader to allow you to make of them what you will. I’m glad to know you liked it.

    Sam – “Haunting” and “terrifying”… You describe a bit of my mind as I wrote this. I was haunted and terrified. Imagine being terrified at something you are creating. Well, Sam, you are ever the skilled writer, and I’m sure you’ve been there.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Caio/Melissa – Happy to know you’re enjoying your various mental levels. I feel like I’m a bit hallucinatory, myself, when I write something like this. ;-)

    Owen – I always say poetry is best left for the reader to interpret. But if you ask the question, all I can say is that I did not intend for love to be in any aspect of it for him. As for her, that is quite her quest… love. But she seems to dabble in quick one-night-stands with men she doesn’t know (men who see her at the general store) and who have no desire to get to know her; all they want from her is sex. That is why he reads her face as “Oh, she’s dreaming of something she’ll never have,” and she’s reading his face as “I see nothing.” And that’s precisely it – there is nothing on his face because there is nothing in him but the lust. I’m getting the sense that this piece was quite a bit confusing for everyone, but I was very much confused in thought while I was writing it, and after I was done, I had no intention whatsoever of trying to “fix” it. I wanted to leave it in its troubled state. Does that make any sense, Owen?

    ReplyDelete
  18. oh, lady nevine! you are right, she SEES NOTHING! WANTS NOTHING MORE than that moment - not even love, but the same as him - lust - but like most men he cannot see that and if he does then he perceives it as something more because he must believe, needs to believe that HE IS MORE - but, you are right - this is HER quest - and he is just her invited guest for the moment - he eats at HER table tonight! brilliantly done!!! brilliantly!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. 'Mystical' you only had that to say! (sniff..)
    How come my dear Nevine...

    You really must get exhausted after answering each one of your comments here... You expected more from me... (maybe) i expected more from you (for sure)... But only because that's what you've got me (us)used to...
    But I love you because you never lie... and neither do I.

    NOW!

    I found the adjectives:

    Wise and rhythmic, yet,
    glistening, cheerless, flinty,
    dramatic and sad-- as life itself...

    However, unique and brilliant.
    Definitely not 'beautiful' or 'lovely'...(that's YOU.)

    And lots of more love to you, dearest Queen.
    ;)

    Dulce

    ReplyDelete
  20. faith is the hardest thing to come by these days..... send me some of yours please....

    ReplyDelete
  21. This is an interesting concept. I would have to agree with that last statement where you say "she – always coldly faithless – believes with zealous ardor in sin" For many people, including myself, faith can seem like a very abstract thing. But on the other side of the coin, we judge ourselves for our wrongdoings, or judge others for theirs. It seems faith and sin are treated differently. Sin is easier to believe in sometimes, especially in a world that can feel like it is falling apart.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Well, for me this (2nd) reading was not "mystical", but closer to harsh reality of too many Peeps/souls.

    I absolutely LOVE your work Nevine--maybe it is even your FUN? How wonderful to have fun while working! I do.

    OH! What I would miss, had I never began blogging two years ago...THANK YOU!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. My dear friend,
    I must apologise to you for being so ... Let me think, YES childish... I should never doubt about your opinion. Even a mere *:-)* would do to me... for I REALLy consider an honor the fact that you just visit and read me... so what the heck!---Silly me.
    I am so sorry and I love you and you are great and too lovely to deserve having to give explanations...
    THANK YOU, though!

    Hey Steverony...

    ReplyDelete
  24. 'their ivory softness they taste of famine'

    That made me melt into a mess of curled thoughts and spiralling dreams. What a poem! Many, many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Jenean – You really amaze me with your ability to understand. But someone who writes about the human psyche like you do can only understand, right? I am ever stunned by you, Jenean.

    Dulce – I read your comment last night and was troubled… troubled that you thought my intentions were shallow about your writing. Never! But this is a fact: we do communicate in an unfriendly medium… that is, we don’t have the advantage of reading one another’s nonverbals, so sometimes we just read words as they are on the page, without the extra facial expressions and body gestures. You see, if I were sitting in front of you when I said “mystical”, I probably would’ve leaned forward a bit, I probably would’ve had my right hand over my heart, I probably would’ve looked you directly in the eyes… and what a difference that would’ve made! But there was none of that – so it came across flat and empty. But no worries… I know how it is. Sometimes I have to stop my wondering about another’s shallowness, too. It’s the disadvantage of lacking the social aspect of it… huh, they call it “social networking”. Not by a wide margin! And thank you for being honest with me. Above all, I appreciated that. I wouldn’t want for anyone to be taking issue with something I said and not mention it to me – that would be unfair to both of us. So thank you for bringing it up. And your adjectives were lovely… and right on target. One last thing… you’re not childish – just human. We all are! Love you lots, Sweetest. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Sir Thomas – I’ll be around soon…

    Eva – Exactly! For her, it seemed like she was in a moment where sin was easier to believe in than faith, even though she had always been faithless. Still, her belief in sin somehow allowed her to have faith in something. Maybe it was the justification she needed for herself.

    Steveroni – Oh, the mystical was a comment I made to Dulce. And you’re right… this is so close to reality. I talk with too many women whose life is just like this. And I have no judgments… only empathy. Thank you for being around, Steve. Your visits certainly brighten my day!

    Cuban – Glad you had some dreamy moments with this. It wasn’t a very dreamy write for me, though. But still, it’s nice to know how others are reacting… and all the different perceptions of it. Thank you, Cuban.

    ReplyDelete
  27. “the clack
of his shoes
    on the porch”

    From that moment, I know I’m in capable hands and just have to trust that the image maker will take me to places and sensations sure to startle, seduce, and haunt. This is almost something that is best heard sung by someone else so that the sounds can glide over one’s skin so that the experience becomes me and you and us lived seamlessly.

    Thank you again, Nevine, for transporting me.

    Judy

    ReplyDelete
  28. I loved how in the midst of all the passion you inserted an undercurrent of unease, like a disconnectedness with the emotion of passion. The very sounds of the words show this like "the clack
of his shoes" and "sighing from dustwebs". Your descriptions reinforce the idea with "nothing in his pockets" and "he kisses her in the wrong places".

    There was so much warmth but at the end the uneasy became icy coldness. I felt so sorry for them both.

    Jai

    ReplyDelete
  29. The depth of your words is unbelievable. you hide meanings and fuse them delicately with other images to let the feelings float into the heart. I agree with all the others, you have an outstanding descriptive ability.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Judy - Only you would've mentioned singing this... as you've mentioned it before about a couple of my other pieces. That "glides" very nicely over my skin... I'm very touched by your sweet words, especially that last sentence that goes on and on and reads almost like poetry. Thank you. Your comments always make my day.

    Jai - You are absolutely right... and very perceptive. There is a disconnectedness, and an unease as well. There is nothing "spiritual" about their union, as is usually the case when love is involved in the act of "love"making. And you are dynamic and thank you for feeling sorry for both of them. Most of the response I've gotten involved a deep sorrow for her, but he is also a victim of his circumstances.

    Maha - Hello, and welcome! And thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me. It really means a lot, Maha. And I'm very happy you liked this.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Tongue as dry as Sahara.
    WOW..
    A poet can reach places where a normal human being can't. Awesome work Nevine.
    I am so touched again.
    The clarity with which you define the scene is just awesome. Lovely piece of work.
    The ivory softness..
    Again wow..

    Cheers

    Nuts

    ReplyDelete
  32. 'sin' is but a social concept... if lust is the be all/end all, so be it

    ReplyDelete
  33. Wait! There's wrong places..? LOL

    ReplyDelete
  34. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  35. This is so overwhelming Nevine, the hunger and thirst that makes you forget about the desires and needs. To forget about love.
    I once was in that place where i prefered sin above faith and love. Hoping it would feed my soul. It didn't. (my drawing tenderness is weakness)

    Your words crawl under my skin, on it's way to memories, the heart and echoing in my soul.
    It's like a fever, but after the heat you feel better: refreshed and new.

    Like others also wrote before me, i have to reread these words again and again.
    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Très beau poème avec une atmosphère plutôt obscure!

    "she floats above
    her own body and his "

    J'aimerais mieux pas que ça m'arrive à ce moment là précisemment;-(

    ***
    Gros bisous et un beau weekend bien étoilé ma belle*******

    ReplyDelete
  37. NIpun - I'm so happy you enjoyed this. Somewhere in my head, as I was writing it, I wondered to myself what it all meant... but then I realized what it meant for me after I wrote it. Different meanings for different people... but again I'm happy you liked it. And thank you for your ever-flowing Wows!

    LW - Coming from a true man, I say! Hey, whatever makes you happy, LW. But I agree... sin is a social construct. Absolutely!

    Mark - Ah, yes. Another man comments as only a man would. You guys are entitled, though. And are there wrong places? Oh, my... It all depends... on a whole load of things. And that's all I'm saying about that. ;-)

    Momo Luna - You are so sweet to share memories and such personal thoughts. And what an analogy: fever! Yes yes yes... how amazed I always am at all the different perspectives and ideas and feelings. It makes for such an interesting exchange. Thank you, Momo!

    Cremilde - Yes, this one is a bit obscure... it was so even for me as I wrote it... wondering to myself what the hell I was doing with this mess of thoughts... etc. And quel moment! for such a thing to happen at such a moment... no! I wouldn't want that, either. Merci, Cremilde, for your warm visit... always so very welcome... and your little star makes me smile! Bon weekend, mon amie! Muah!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Hey, this is off topic but if you wanna do something fun..pop over to my blog for FRIDAY NIGHT WORD-FIGHTS!

    ReplyDelete
  39. I'll be by to check that out, Mark!

    ReplyDelete
  40. only too happy to indulge in some lust, with a special lady... exclusively

    ReplyDelete
  41. There's a tension in this, that renders the reader's inner voice speechless. A true stretching of the ecstatic soul.

    ReplyDelete
  42. LW - Ah, you mentioned a special lady... That puts a different spin on things. She'd be happy to know she's special. Ladies like to know that sort of thing...

    Martin - I would say I was in a tense frame of mind as I wrote this, and my thoughts were jumbled. But when I was finished with it, I didn't want to perform surgery on it like I usually do... I just wanted it to remain its troubled self. I see the tension came through... I suppose it's sometimes good to leave things as nature intended for them to be, then.

    Mark - If you come back and read this, I'm not sure what's going on but when I click on your blog, Blogger tells me that it doesn't exist. Just wanted for you to know...

    ReplyDelete
  43. Nev
    cool. who's to say if the places are wrong? he? she? or is wrong right? I love how it ended and love that I wasn't expecting the raw honesty of the conclusion. Read it twice. ~rick

    ReplyDelete
  44. And I love that you loved it, Rick. It's cool to see you back, too. Gone too long, Rick. Way way way too long... ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Nevine, you NEVER disappoint.
    When I read the beautiful and varied styles of your writing, I realize what I am not.
    I want to write like this, but it just isn't in me. My writing reads like a shop manual when compared to yours...

    ReplyDelete
  46. Pat - Believe me when I say that I sometimes think my writing is choppy and shop manual-like. I think we all have our doubts about what we create. But I'll tell you this much, because I have yet to read your writing... you sure can take some freakin' awesome photos! My fingers can't click and snap an image quite so elegantly... And hey, thanks for the nice words. I really appreciate them!

    ReplyDelete
  47. God, you're good!

    Favourite line; 'prayed for invisible graces', reminds me of so many people who need that something. recognition, grace, help etc...

    The main theme of the poem however is written with such knowledge and assurance. I admire that you can describe this act with such delicate words, it's beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Nevine,
    Once again i have been away from the blogging world, not intentionally but because i ve to catch up with the things left undone.
    i m troubled as i came in here,i hope you 're ok. Your wellbeing is more important than the most marvellous words. So i hope i dont have a reason to worry.
    i took my time because i like to take the time with the things you say....whether joyful, mysterious, erotic or sorrowful....they always carry me away.
    i've been missing you from wherever you are and where ever i am!
    Hugs, hugs, hugs!!
    j

    ReplyDelete

Your thoughts are deeply appreciated.