Saturday, May 29, 2010

stillness...


a simple title. don’t you think? but this is what i need. i need simple. i need to look at the sky. and the earth below me. and to smell the lovely air. i need to take long walks. and listen to beethoven. and vivaldi. and chopin.
i need to look at my face. and remind myself of me. i need to tell myself:
i am alive.
i am alive.
i am alive.
i need to tell myself:
i am nevine.
my mind is working overtime. my heart is dry. my soul is riddled with gaps.
it is time to take the time. much needed. to tend to me.
time to read t.s. eliot. and drink warm tea.
time to watch movies. and eat ice cream with my fingers. not with a spoon.
time to cook. and bake. to stick my hands in thick dough and struggle to pull them out. and to laugh at my frustration.
time to run. and scream. with thrill. and elation. like a child.
time to go swimming. and exercise. and write. without thinking of posting.
to write.
and write.
and write.
to laugh. and smile. and maybe even cry. why not? crying is good.
time to take naps. and relax. and breathe.
time to listen to my silence. and hear what it has to say.
he says. he. eliot. poet of my soul. he says: there will be time... but the time for me is now. now.
this is what i need. i will be back soon. i will be back. i just need some time.
…be back soon…
…go do it, vina…