Thursday, August 12, 2010

Chrysalis

Voyageur I by Michel Henricot

He does not say to her, The air is charged with alarms, with metallic clangs rising. I know. And I know of the fragments of sky exploding in silence.

He does not say to her, This quiet house is locked tight, but fragile at night. I know. And I know of the heart of the storm, soft-crusted in flight.

He does not say to her, My love is sacred and intimate, offered to twisted intangibles. I know. And I know I dwell behind fences while smiling at you. 


He does not say to her, I suffer. I suffer for you.

If it is a consolation, I suffer no less, she says.

He closes his eyes. Tries to evoke her face. He does not see it. He thinks he will not see it again.

In the turbulent dream, he screams with shut mouth, his soul exuding a foul odor, the stench of buried emotion in an inverse way you are purifying me
liberating the serene-eyed serpents inside me
if not for you they would have writhed forever
within the bars of my living veins
with you between my arms
the dam stalling the stream of my life crumbles
in the delicacy of your flesh
demolished
destroyed
without sound
i fill my heart with your tender eyes
are there eyes more beautiful
your warmth melts this iceberg at last
and at last i taste the heat of your lips
my strange and beautiful love
i can hardly believe my hands
your face
my heart
at last i can hold you and you me
inside myself i think
what is happening is exceptional
has never happened before
can never happen again
a call rising within me
your name stirring the waves
in this motionless river
making my body run
is this sadness
this plummeting
falling
loss of the sense of time
i am responding to you
can you see it in my face
my eyes the climax my eyes the climax
you know i can’t fake it
like you sometimes do

Her eyes. They widen. Her crisis is about to come crashing down. He feels he has her completely. Now.

Now.

Her eyes. They see him. He has her as much as a man can have a woman. Her eyes are as wide as eyes can go.

Her crisis crests. Her eyes close.

Close him out.

Discard him.

The air reeks of her last word lesslesslesslessless. The specter of it curls like an ancient cipher – solid inside, brittle edges – that cuts into his delirious elation.

He closes his eyes, tries to evoke her face. He does not see it. He knows he will not see it again.

He does not say to her, There is power in darkness concealed, in secrets kept close. I know. And I know of the freedom of butterflies emerging from repose.

She does not say to him, I devour your flesh when you are here, and when you are gone I choke on your ghost.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Im breathless...

Steven Anthony
http://manndish.blogspot.com/

S. Susan Deborah said...

Nevine:

Welcome back. I was waiting for you and here you are. How I did miss you.

This piece is scary, Nevine. "soul exuding a foul odor" -- the images paint a poignant and ghastly picture. It slowly built up the crescendo which was not quite pleasant.

As your label says, "Experimental." It was indeed and also took my breath away.

Hope the sun, sea and salt were therapeutic and rejuvenating.

Glad to see you :) Big hugs.

Much love and joy,
Susan

Pat Tillett said...

The stench of buried emotion...

As always, I'm amazed at the images you are able to transfer to words. Another great one Nevine.

Wild Rose said...

First of all Ramadan Mubarak my sweet delight missed you so much darling glad to see you back and know you had a great summer vacation. Wrote two posts while you were away but every time wished to see you. Now to this amazing and beautiful prose you have written...

Lovers making love during the one chance they have together knowing they may never get another opportune moment as this one..searching to see the reflection of that moment when everything is intertwined in each other's eyes, face, mind, body and soul absolutely (intense) She can't close him out not yet there're still more beautiful such breathless chances to be partaken. I can almost taste it as i did with your vivid imagery throughout. The pain of separation seems to be dissolving though for him it may have just began.

Am so taken by this eloquent and striking piece..it overwhelmed me my sweet delight..left me gasping for more.

Joy and love,
Wild Rose~

Martin said...

Beauty released as spirits entwine. The transformation one soul may bring about in another. Wonderful writing, Nevine.

Unknown said...

I Had missed your posts Nevine.
Costas

gerry boyd said...

compelling write and worth the wait. bravo!

Man Named Kim said...

Nevine - if your intent was to capture the tension between our need for passion and our craving for perfection when the lack of the latter infects the former - well, that is what this speaks of to me... with painful honesty.

Cildemer said...

Nice to see you're back and that your inspiration is in full swing;o)
That's the power of the sea, je veux le croire;o)

That's an amazing piece of work and the lovers seem to live a strange kind of love! It seems that he really loves her but she doesn't. Her love is not sincere, is it?
I hope i didn't misinterprete the text.

***
Biiig biiizzzouuuzzz, ma belle*******

Sam Liu said...

In your writing, you seamlessly combine passion and horror, sterility and sensuality, darkness and emotion. There is a haunting rhythm to your words, and the images and scenes they evoke are vivid and alive. I am always amazed, this is no exception.

laughingwolf said...

like most things in life, love, too, is most fleeting...

wb my friend

Pauline said...

Nevine, I don't have the words to tell you what a wonderful piece of writing that is! You are inspired and an inspiration!

Nevine Sultan said...

Steven – :-)

Susan – You know, it’s funny you should mention it’s a scary piece. I felt a very strange feeling as I was writing it. To me, it felt sort of like a mating game between insects, with the desired end being slightly different for each of the characters. I suppose he was after some sort of transformation that takes him to a higher level, while she was focused on the here and now, the flesh, which dies. To be honest with you, Susan, I felt confused about this whole piece and that’s why I labeled it “Experimental”. I mean, it was experimental in that it wasn’t a traditional piece of writing, i.e., short story or poetry. But also, it had an odd vibe, even for me. But I thought I’d let it go. As for the sun, sea, and salt, yes, all amazing and vibrant! It’s so good to be back, too, and it’s great to be greeted so warmly!

Nevine Sultan said...

Pat – Thanks. It’s that very “stench” that I like to dig up, sometimes. I just don’t know why. ;-) It’s great to see you here, Pat.

Wild Rose – And Ramadan Mubarak back to you. Yes, I fear the pain of separation is just beginning. I don’t think he had that in mind to begin with, though he was realistic in his thinking. He did have his warning signs ready in his heart, but he did not share them with her. Maybe he was trying to suppress them, after all. Maybe he was being optimistic. Yes, I guess that’s why he fell into the lovemaking part of that meeting and lost his head for those moments. But Wild Rose, I am glad you enjoyed it. Like I told Susan, this was a confusing write for me, so I can imagine that it is a bit of a confusing read, too. Always lovely to see you here, sweet Wild Rose.

Nevine Sultan said...

Martin – Transformation! That’s absolutely it! You always amaze me with your insight and understanding, Martin. I do appreciate that. And I’m glad you liked it, too. Thank you.

Costas – Thank you; it’s good to be back. And I will be around to visit soon, Costas. Thank you for stopping in.

Gerry – Thanks; I appreciate that.

Nevine Sultan said...

Kim – Yes yes yes! Though I think he was the one seeking perfection and a sort of rebirth… only him, while she was just focused on the feeling he evoked in her… until he lost her to her moment, pretty much. Honest writing… I always hope that’s how it comes across. Thank you, Kim.

Crémilde – Absolumment, ouai! The sea… nothing can compare. Strange love… it is. No, her love is not sincere… it is quite superficial. You didn’t misinterpret anything at all, Cremilde. You’re right on! Thank you for your sweet visit, et pour les étoiles. Bisous back to you, ma chère.

Nevine Sultan said...

Sam – Thank you. I think that in real life, these dichotomies you mentioned do exist, even though we are unaware of their presence sometimes. In the midst of the highest passion, there is sometimes quite a bit to fear… even inside ourselves. So many thin lines in real life… so much grey area. You are ever the analytical reader, Sam!

LW – You got it right! Whatever it is we think we’re grasping tightly in our grip… we’re kidding ourselves. And thanks, LW. It’s great to be home!

Pauline – Thank you for that very sweet comment. And I’m thrilled you liked it.

Judith Mercado said...

Chrysalis. On the first read, I did not focus on the title. It was a powerfully evocative read nonetheless. On second read, I focused on the title and suddenly the poem emerged as if from its own chrysalis. So great to have you back.
Judy

Dulçe ♥ said...

My dear Nevine,

You are back with your so breathtaking writings!
The title and the picture (WOW the picture) and the last two lines speak for the perfect summary of what this is (to me) about...

And love is so painful, liberating, and at the same time so never-everlasting...that is the most powerful of it all, what makes it unforgettable, yet sustainable somehow...

Glad you are back, Queen!

D.

Pearl said...

Kinda stumbled in but WOW. What a stumble! Really enjoyed this.

Pearl

Madame DeFarge said...

I think it reminds me of the fundamental madness that strikes us when we're in a passionate love, or desire. No sane person would voluntarily feel like that, but we still do. It's a dread of being reliant on others to keep us happy that always affects me. Spoils whatever love there is, every time.

Nevine Sultan said...

Judy - Thank you for giving it a second read. I do realize it was a confusing read... needless to say, it was a confusing write, too. Or maybe it was just a challenging write. Glad to know you gave it a second shot, and that it came together.

Dulce - The last two lines are definitely the key... even for me. I think that was finally where this piece began to make sense to me... the writer, go figure! And that image is so fascinating, isn't it? I visited an art gallery, once, where some of Henricot's pieces were on display. Wow! What an artist, truly. So nice to see you, Sweetest. :-)

Pearl - Well, I'm happy you stumbled in, and that you left your thoughts, too. Thank you for that... much appreciated!

Mme. DeFarge - Your comment is very insightful, and yes, we do cripple ourselves with dependence on others... and we cripple them as well. But it seems our nature to want to need, somehow... if you know what I mean.

Desert Rose said...

YOU took me there Nevine,this one isa tight write as they say,i had to revisit manyt times to read..reread..and finally a teardrop fell down on my cheek..i fear..seperation,all my life i fought attachments,your lines shook me..i love reading you nivo..
Ramadan Kareem..Masr btsallem 3aliki..7adn kbeer..:)

GYPSYWOMAN said...

for one not usually without words, dear nevine, when i visit here, i am always left speechless in your own words! magnificently beautiful and powerful!

Khaled KEM said...

Dear Nevine.. Ramadan Kareem.. Thank you for your nice message. I finished my graduate studies last May and then I took a two months vacation. I went to Egypt to visit family and friends. I came back a few weeks ago and now I am busy preparing a new phase on my life. You know (job, family, etc...).

As for my blog, I admit that it lacks lately a lot of dedication from my part. I promise to start posting again and be in contact with you guys, my fellow writers.

I admire your talent Nevine. It shows every time you post a new piece of writing or poetry. I also admire the dedication you have for your blog and for your readers and friends. Keep going.

Talk to you soon.
Kh

Jai Joshi said...

"and when you're gone I choke on your ghost."

That final line took my breath away. It's all just a dream, really, isn't it? We're all ghosts.

Jai

Cildemer said...

Thank you, ma belle:o)

***
Gros bisous*******
*** et un beau dimanche bien étoilé*******


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Cynthia said...

"This quiet house is locked tight, but fragile at night" Oh!, those words of yours Nevine
remind me of myself, my own soul. And also
of one of my favorite pieces of Emily D.'s
"The soul selects her own society, then shuts
the door".

Another extraordinary poem. I'm addicted to
the inverted quality the inner-ness of your
poetry, Nevine. The cry for help in this
poem in particular, a need to be heard and
seen, in love, in all of its manifestations.

Your last verse is haunting.

Betty Manousos said...

Fisrt off, WELCOME BACK, my very dear frind!!

This piece is brilliant! Totally imspiring!
Simply amazed. Thanks for the beauty of your poems, that keeps me yearning for them.
This piece leaves my heart compressed and breathless!
What powerful and unique selection/choice of words you used in this one!
While reading the images run through my mind, making each minute..a bliss.

Oh, well, a metaphor of rebirth of life or spirit through metamorphosis and the everlasing Nature's unwritten law.

Big big hugs,
Betty xx

TTYLFF
(Thanks To Your Love and Friendship Forever)

Nevine Sultan said...

Abeer - I'm so glad to hear it finally came through for you. A confusing one, this one... for me to write... and for others to read. But it came from the gut and I decided to leave it as is. Ramadan Kareem and 7odn kbeer back! ;-)

Jenean - You are too sweet... and I know you won't be speechless for long. In fact, you never are speechless for long. I'll be swinging by soon.

Khaled - So nice to see you here. I do know how life becomes hectic and we are sometimes forced to abandon these places. I've taken breaks from blogging, too, so I know how it goes. It's nice you got to go home and visit loved ones and friends - that is always a special treat. And I look forward to when you will be posting again. Thank you for the encouraging words... they keep the determination going.

Nevine Sultan said...

Jai - Sometimes I like to think of all of life as being a dream... and in that case, we would all be ghosts. A fascinating mind-twist, that, Jai!

Cremilde - De rien, mon amie. Bises!

Cynthia - Your comment really nailed it over the head. Our search for belonging... attachment... love, really, seems to define us, sometimes. And we fall into this pattern of stagnation, while dreaming of change and rebirth.

Betty - So nice to see you back, too! Are you back from your holiday? I hope you enjoyed it, if you are. And if you are still there, then keep on enjoying the ride. And thank you so much for stopping in and reading, and for leaving your lovely thoughts. I so appreciate them, and I appreciate your warm friendship, too. You are ever gracious! Hugs!!!

Menina said...

I'm so glad you're back! This is simply perfect. ' in an inverse way you are purifying me
liberating the serene-eyed serpents inside me ', this is a wonderful way of describing something I've never been able to do myself. So eloquent!

steveroni said...

With "Wild Rose" I agree: overwhelming! however she wrote: "left me gasping for more." Nevine, I do not believe I could handle more. You fulfilled and filled the cup--again!

Lines like this are for dying to: "..he screams with shut mouth..."

He does not say to her: "Nevine, this is really good!"

Rather he states, "Nevine, you have NO IDEA where these words of your have taken me--or maybe you do. But it is good, and a positively enchanting place to be...to maybe stay awhile?"

She does not say to me.
I do not say to her.

Because the best ever of things must be left unsaid, but simply thought. And those thoughts transported are why we are "in this very room"...

Thank you, Sweet Nevine

Blogoratti said...

I thought that was really deep and intriguing.

Nevine Sultan said...

Menina - Glad you liked it, and that you found something you thought was "perfect". I like that!

Steveroni - You said... like only you can understand it... because it seems sometimes you are reading my mind. Those things we never do say and those things it is always unnecessary to say... because they are already known by the other... and because... somehow... if we said them... they would lose their magic. Thank YOU, Steve, for always getting it! You are truly awesome.

Blogoratti - I'm happy you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for leaving your thoughts.