Sunday, September 11, 2011

Deliverance

Photo, Sergeij Bizjaev

one day
one moment
so abruptly
so suddenly
(as suddenly as a wandering stranger
happens at your lit window
on the bleakest winter night)
there comes the need
to release the usual
the predictable
the normal
and embrace the unusual
the risky
the atypical

because

if you stop and give it
even a passing thought

the best way to break
that chastity belt
you call TRADITION
(because you are afraid
to call it DOGMA)
is to take the rusty key
you have hidden
in the darkest spot
of your musty spirit
(reeking
of centuries-old resignation)
and ram that key
inside the keyhole
and twist
like a motherfucker

twist
like you’ve never twisted before
delivering yourself
of the evil you call NORMALCY
(because you are afraid
to call it CONFORMITY)

and so today
i say:

My spirit does not resign.

My spirit blazes—
a tongue of flame
sparking crisp flares
that burn brightest
when the heart is dark.

Today is my day
for deliverance,
and I deliver myself!

Fight me.
I dare you!

Cast me out
for my sin
of not fitting in.

Cast me out
and leave me
to oblivion.

But know that
I will be the tempest
that disturbs quietude.

And know that
I will run counterclockwise
and dismantle time.

Because majority
does not equal sanity

and

Because now . . . is now
and later . . . is never.

28 comments:

  1. I have been there. I am still there. Someday I must tell you my deepest, darkest secrets - about how it is that I don't fit.

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  2. breaking free...oh how I wish I could,,,

    powerful write my dear friend

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  3. I hear you, Nevine and everyday I fight the urge to resist that chastity belt called tradition and normalcy. I am entangled and try very hard but then at last I give up. I am always in that state. The urgency that resonates in the post is/has been mine as well.

    Fantastic read on a Monday morning, Nevine.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  4. Breaking free seems to be the easiest solution on paper... hard to accomplish!

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  5. I yearn to break out, to take risks.. isn't that what we must do to really live..and yet I fear ... It's hard..

    BM

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  6. Oh! C'est si puissant! J'aime beaucoup ce cri qui vient de l'intérieur! Ah, liberté chérie...et souvent hors de prix!
    Que le vent de la liberté te fasse tourbillonner en une valse effrénée et gaie, mon amie;o)

    ¤ Gros BIZZZOUZZZZ ¤

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  7. so much in the mind! but how to make it come into being!!! i would love to fly away forever or else break d chains of limitations but d reality remains same as soon as my hand is lifted of d paper!!

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  8. Hmmmm ... so many facets here, so many sides to consider. A dilemma for me: is it thought-provoking, or just plain provoking?

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  9. No matter how you frame your poems: romantic and sometimes highly lyrica, there's a still a strong undercurrent pulling the reader into a maelstrom of images. Sometimes your pieces come across as placid and tranquil, yet, they're anything but. It calls to mind music that I've listened to over the years and which carries the same passionate and intense approach: Alice Coltrane, Metallica, and Aziza Mustafa Zadeh, to name but three composers or bands that don't follow a linear topic, but are willing to take a detour, change pace and tone and deliver a masterstroke at the end. For me it was a phrase halfway through your excellent poem: "and ram that key into the keyhole and twist like a motherfucker."

    Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

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  10. self yearns to emerge
    caught in the interstices
    of learned perception

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  11. Your writing here is blindingly beautiful, as always, as always, and your spirit is indeed blazing.

    Be well Nevine

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  12. I felt this. I did this. With it I lost and gained everything. Such truth here, it almost hurt to read it.

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  13. This one touched me deeply ya nevine..somehow inside, i want to break free..to smash all the old DOGMA..and be..just be..love how you put it in words that beat with life.......BRILLIANT! :)

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  14. Lou - And who does fit? We're all misfits, if you ask me... You can tell, and I will listen. And then I can tell, while you listen. How about it?

    David - And don't we all... wish.

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  15. Susan - I think we all fight and feel we lose. I suppose the key lies in not giving up trying but just keeping on with that bit... maybe... then... the rest falls into place.

    Opaque - Hard... yes. But never impossible.

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  16. Being Me - I suppose what we must do to really live is just about being true to who we want to be. And even that is hard!

    Mildred - Merci, ma belle. Toujours gentille!!! Big bises!!!

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  17. Megharana - Maybe, then, we can trick our minds into believing what we write on paper? But then... we can trick the mind, but never the heart.

    ConTemplate - Interesting questions. But only you can answer them. And yes... I figured they were rhetorical anyway. ;-)

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  18. Cuban - That, for me, is always the most exciting bit. Taking the detour... and waiting to see what will confront me... and waiting to see whether or not I will allow it to fall into my lap. This time... I allowed. Thanks, Cuban. You have a keen understanding for what I mean to say.

    Judy - Now, that is quite the haiku!

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  19. Owen - I say... humbly... thank you. And thank you also for your "other" thoughts.

    Eva - I think we have all experienced this desire... and at some point... even acted out on it. But we are sometimes too afraid to even admit that small victory for ourselves. You are unafraid. And that is awesome! Even if it hurts...

    Abeer - So lovely to see you here, ya amar. And so sweet of you to leave such kind thoughts. I'm happy you felt it inside you so strongly.

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  20. and no one appreciates your words today more than i, nevine - this piece reminds me of my own from a little "i shall dress" over a year ago -

    here's to deliverance for us all! [clink!] ;)

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  21. "cast me out for my sin of not fitting in"

    this line is the story of my life, having never been able to fit in among any- and now my preference is solitude.

    very deep and powerful words you have written here!

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  22. Coucou ma belle;o)
    J'espère que ta semaine s'est très bien passée et que tu as trouvé plein de bonne nourriture pour l'esprit. Faut savoir faire des pauses et recevoir doit être un aussi grand plaisir que d'offrir!
    Et moi, toujours, je reviens;o)

    ***
    Gros BIZZZOUZZZZ et merveilleuse fin de semaine****

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  23. Donne mon bonjour à ton chéri;o)

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  24. Jenean - Oh, I enjoyed sharing that drink with you, Jenean! And, when was the last time either of us couldn't relate to the other's words? Thank you for stopping in and leaving such lovely thoughts.

    Urban Butterfly - I can't blame you for your preference of solitude. It seems we have an easier time being in our own company. But I have learned that even that is a challenge. There is no rest, I suppose, for the human spirit.

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  25. Cremilde - Ma belle, merci pour ta présence, et pour ton commentaire sur TNL. J'ai eu une semaine trop épuisante, mais en même temps, très enrichissante. Et mon weekend va bien bien bien. Je te souhaite une bonne Dimanche, et je lui dirai. Il dort encore... he he he. Merci, ma belle amie! Gros bisous, Cremilde!!! :-)

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  26. J'espère que tu pourras profiter du weekend pour te reposer un peu. Moi aujourd'hui je suis allée voir plein de belles choses à l'occasion des journées du Patrimoine et j'ai ramené plein de photos. Et j'y retourne demain. He he he. Je vais embêter tout le monde avec toutes mes photos;o)

    ¤ SMACK SMACK SMACK ¤

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  27. He he he! Je suis allée te lire dans ton autre jardin;o) Que tes rêveries dans l'herbe soient douces et ressourçantes et que ces petits moments de solitude te permettent de te retrouver;o)

    ***
    Um abraço grande grande;o)****

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  28. breaking free...i wish i could.

    very touching read, my dearest nevine.
    it gave me the shivers.
    thanks so much for sharing it.

    big hugs
    betty xx

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Your thoughts are deeply appreciated.